ON A PERSONAL NOTE: Elder care

I was ready to quit today.  In fact I am still considering it.  I went online and checked my mother's phone bill and she still owes AT&T $186.  I speak to her every month regarding the bills and she tells me that she is either getting them out or that she just wrote something for them.  Come to find out the phone has not been paid in three months and the electricity has just been shut off.  I am not sure about the water or the cable.  She tells me that the mortgage is current.

As I have said in previous posts my mother is a lot different to assist than my father was.  I handled all of the bills with Dad.  In 2007 or 2008 I got our accounts linked and I transferred money between the two.  The phone and cable were always on.  There was always food and snack stuff for him.  Mom is different.  She doesn't remember to pay the bills sometimes and other times she forgets to send them.  To make things worse if you remind her too many times she throws her tantrum, usually crying that you are making her nervous.  her way of getting you to leave her alone.  The problem with that is she does not want you to PAY the bill either.  She wants to do it but she isn't handling it.  So I am looking at this bill and realizing that I am supposed to be in Florida in September to take her to get blood work and to get her to the doctor and I know the lights are still more than likely out so I won't be able to stay at the house.

That's when I thought about just saying "fuckit".  For those of you who have never had to take care of the elderly you may think it is cowardly to just want to bail out, but dealing with seniors is incredibly difficult.  For the most part they will never really get better.  With children they get smarter as they get older (most of them at least).  Generally their health will get better .  Not someone in their 80s.  Healing is usually slow.  Once their mind goes it is even rougher.  Dealing with their issues is draining.  It's why I advise everyone taking care of a loved one and especially if they are senior citizens to get an outlet.  Find some way to relax or the stress will make you sick.  In my case I do have a way with dealing with the stress.  However there are days where  it is more difficult than others.  I will tell my mother she has to pay this, in part because she wants to and because I don't have the money to pay her bills even if she will pay me back.