ELDER CARE: July 10

Mom complained about the pain in her forehead and her eye so she is going to call the doctor to see if she can get an appointment.

My first question was “how are you going to get there?”  .  I didn’t really get an answer to that.  I guess my mother is expecting my aunt’s home attendant to take her or she thinks she is going to get a taxi as feeble as she is.

My second question (I didn’t ask this out loud)  and it was more of a statement was that she was told before the forehead pain is connected with her sinuses.  She was told to use Allegra for that.  She won’t use drops for the eyes.   In fact there is very little she will do if it is suggested.  Some time ago my aunt made a statement regarding the use of eye drops. Because my mother’s eyes are paralyzed my aunt felt that the drops would not be helpful and may in fact be harmful being that the eyes don’t move.  On the other hand her eyes don’t generate a lot of tears so they are going to get dry.  Dry eyes cause infections.  My mother won’t take the drops so she will continue to have dry eyes. 

Even worse, she has a funny relationship with medication.  She is allergic to a few things.  Some things upset her stomach or according to her make her feel light headed.  Her bad eating habits might contribute to this.

With the transportation issue I suggested an agency that would send someone over, like a home attendant.  She wants to talk about it and get more information because she is not really comfortable with the idea of someone coming to the house  She was more open after she realized the attendants at the house were not going to assist her.  However, we have not been able to get that together over dumb stuff.  I can’t talk to her about it before three or after six when there are others in the house.  That gives me a window of 3PM to 5:30 PM.  Since I work that is not a great window for me to work from.  PLUS a few times I called she was napping and didn’t really want to talk about that.  Basically my mother is her worst enemy.   Now she is faced with the scenario I gave her, needing to see a physician and having nobody to assist her.

I am not planning on going down there.  For one I need the stability on my job.  I make peanuts and I need to stop digging in my savings to survive.  I go out there and I devour the little leave I have and my money since I will have to also take unpaid leave.

Add to the mix Mom still hasn't paid the bills so I would go to Florida and have no place to stay.  Granted I could probably stay with my aunt but that is not the point. 

I have elected to chill and try not to worry too much about the situation.  I only plan to go down there if absolutely necessary and if at all possible not before September.