BAD BLOGGER

Haven't written anything in a while which is bad.  Additionally I have to reconfigure my future plans again.

I wanted to transition to a career in social work, specifically working in the background with the homeless.  I wanted to assist them with placement and stuff like that.  Not working on the street as much as doing other advocate type work.  Just found out though that most of these agencies are just helping the poor to make money.  I am not saying that I don't want a salary but I am not trying to get rich assisting seniors or the homeless.

So for the time being I am stuck with my government job, which isn't awful, but nowhere near what I want to do.

Then there's Florida but that's another entry.

JOURNAL ENTRY #70 Happy Veterans Day

This doesn't rank as one of my least favorite holidays but it is not my favorite either.

I think it is nice that we set aside one day to acknowledge our veterans.

At the same time I think we (in general) are basically just giving them a hand job (figuratively) and not even letting them finish off.

It is no secret that we have an embarrassing number of homeless veterans and though I am not certain of the exact numbers, we have a high number of veterans committing suicide.  There is still news about the wait times at the Veterans Administration Hospital.  Vets can wait months to see a doctor.

I personally feel that if you serve at least four years in any branch of the military you should be entitled to at least have your food, clothing, shelter and medical benefits covered for the rest of your life unless you refuse the benefit.  In addition to having veterans preference on federal jobs there should be jobs allotted to them in the private sector,  They should also get half off their State college tuition for 20 semesters without touching their GI Bill.  Children of Veterans should be able to get similar benefits.

This is just off the beginning and off the top of my head.  I am certain we could do more.

JOURNAL ENTRY 69: uNTITLED

The following is an abbreviated version of events that happened.  The incident happened about three weeks ago and I wrote the entry but saved it and decided not to publish the entry.  I don't generate a lot of traffic so it shouldn't matter but still.....

Roughly three Saturdays ago I was home.  I washed clothes and decided to pick up a few groceries  supermarket directly across the street from my apartment.  Coming back home I went to the main entrance of the building but before I opened the door I noticed from the corner of my eye that someone was coming from the side of the building.  The side where we have benches and a mini park.  So I looked to see who was coming.  It was a young man, I would say early to mid-30s, slim and a little taller than me.

He comes into the vestibule and sees me looking at him.  He tells me that he lives in the building on the 21st floor (I forget the apartment number) and that he forgot his key.  I have lived in the building since 1996 and I don't ever remember seeing him.  Still, it didn't mean that he didn't live in the building. I thought that at this point it would be more drama and grief if I didn't open the door.  Being that he claimed to live on the 21st floor I would see if that's where he went.  Mind you, I wasn't riding the elevator with him.

I open the door after a few long seconds and I walk towards the stairwell.  I open the door and I walk up the steps.  I figured after a few seconds the dude will be on the elevator and I would see if he went up the the floor he claimed to live on.  Only thing is he never got on the elevator.  He stayed around the lobby.  Now I am thinking that he my be waiting for someone to ride the elevator with and possibly rob them.  Otherwise why not go to your floor?

I leave the stairwell and walk back outside.  I can see him peeking at me outside the window.   Long story short, I catch the local police and alert them to the mistake I possibly made.  The officer comes back with me and the dude goes ballistic.    He's calling me names and saying that if I didn't trust him I should have talked to him.  Like I was supposed to tell him I think he is a crook and he is supposed to convince me he isn't.   During this confrontation a lady who lives in the building comes by and vouches for the guy.  Meantime the local cop (not NYPD) never checked the man for identification.  The lady who vouched for him accused me of profiling the guy because he is a Black man.  She never ever heard my side of the story.

JOURNAL ENTRY #68 Rambling

It is 4 PM on a Sunday afternoon.

My mind is switching back and forth from writing an entry to cooking dinner to cleaning my apartment.  I can't get started really on any of these projects.  My mind is too unsettled.

So I do one task then switch to another. I just put the ground turkey loaf in the oven.  Just before that I washed some dishes.  In about two hours I will biol the spaghetti and make the sauce.  In about two minutes (while I write this entry) I will fix another grilled cheese sandwich.

Mind is always all over the place.

Later I will be back on the federal job website and Career Builder.com looking for a new place to work. I have reached rock bottom with ICE.  I have no desire to leave the house and go to work.  My job has always been meaningless.

Except for a possible bed sore on Mom's leg she seems to be doing ok.  She won't listen and get up from time to time.  Lost cause.  I stay praying that I only live to be between 65-70 years of age.  I don't want to experience the mosery of having to have someone take me to the bathroom and charge me for it.

FOOD PANTRIES

Probably the last post for the day, I THINK I posted this ink before.  I is one of the most important links you can have if you are facing a food shortage in this country.  It is foodpantry.org and it lists some of the food pantries in this country.  Each organization has its own criteria so you have to read each list carefully. I have it listed in the links provided to the side but I am also posting it in this entry





http://www.foodpantries.org


Soup kitchen, pantry and food bank information

ELDER NEWS: Money Follows the Person Program

Interesting information from Aging Care.   The second link is for caregivers



https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/The-Money-Follows-the-Person-Program-189162.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20October%2024,%202015


https://www.agingcare.com/ebook/library?utm_source=ebook&utm_medium=mini%20banner&utm_campaign=mini_banner_ebook&acst=7698353D-7F32-43D4-B448-D6F1AA8193B8

JOURNAL ENTRY # 67: Donald Trump and the immigration issue

Donald Trump is scary.

I don't think he is racist.

I don't think he is wrong...but I don't think he is right.

NO, I don't think he should be president.

No, I am not voting for him.  I doubt if I could vote for any of today's republicans or conservatives.

Do I feel Trump believes everything he is campaigning?  No.

YES, I am for candidates voicing their opinions even if they are politically incorrect and appear racist.  People have labeled Trump racist for his controversial views on immigration.    I am not saying he is right, however we do need to tighten up the laws and regulations on immigration.  Newsflash:  According to some news sources there are problems with gangs of illegals.  BIGGER NEWSFLASH:  I am more suspect of candidates who stay quiet and/or pro law enforcement when there are obvious accounts of police brutality and especially against people of color.  SO any candidate who is quiet on the Walter Scott killing, the South Carolina shootings in a church,  Tayvon Martin, Eric Garner and even the Ferguson situation I am very suspicious of YOU.  You can acknowledge the law, but if as a candidate you cannot articulate that those deaths should not have happened then I think you are harboring racist thoughts and are kissing the ass of those who would see me dead.  You are more dangerous than a nut with a bad hair piece saying that we need walls around the boarders.

Similarly I am for political incorrectness.  Too often people try to be liked and accepted by everyone.  This is one of the few things I actually appreciate about right wing television.  I won't give much of my time to FOX News or Rush Limbaugh but I support their right to say what they want.  Yes, even if it plays with racism.  Only to a point though.  I honestly don't need Rush saying "those niggers" but if he honestly feels a particular way he should be able to voice himself appropriately without reprisal.   Let him appeal to his audience intelligently.

Donald Trump is leading republicans in most polls because he seems honest where the rest of the pack just comes off as stuffy and out of touch.  Ben Carson is closing in because he has adapted Trump's style.  No, I think a few people will choose to not vote for a Muslim running for president.

I'm just saying we put too much faith into political correctness.  People don't truly let you know how they actually think  George W Bush served two terms as president and the American population supposedly found him stupid.

JOURNAL ENTRY #66: updating the links

There is so much going on in my life nowadays.  In a recently blog entry I wrote how I wasn't keeping up with it.  Just a few moments ago I took a quick glance at it and I am embarrassed at how much I neglected it.  Specifically the links.

My blog focus is supposed to be on elder care and homelessness, but lately I have been all over the place.  And this would be for a number of reasons, starting with the fact my everyday life seems like it is in turmoil.  It's time to change that.  I just spent a few minutes checking the links I have provided to make sure they are still active.  I'll be doing this over the weekend as well.    So far though so good.  I think I need to add some though.  I think I have food pantry information I can add links to.  Plus I wanted to provide pantry information for other states.  So far I have New York and the Washington DC area.  

I was disappointed about the elder care inks though.  But before I came down too hard on myself I realized I was disappointed because the information on the sites don't seem to help much.  

Most things in this country are based on and motivated by a person's ability to make money off it.  You can find a cure for cancer but why share it unless you can maximize your profits.  This is what I am finding out when I look at the sites for elder care.    Sure they give advice as to what to look for with Alzheimer's Disease or elder care abuse.  No real practical advice though.  Nothing to really help a person pay for caregivers, especially if you don't qualify  for Medicaid.  There are elderly who have to pay out of pocket for caregivers.  

I am stil of the mindset that caregiving for the elderly should be free and should be an optional service for the government.  If the focus is on the care for the elderly you cannot provide the best service if the prime focus is on profit making.  Right now my aunt is paying more than she can afford for her care.  My mother is not too far behind her.

It's similar to the situation with feeding the hungry. I personally feel that it is good that you have charitable organizations assisting with the hungry but there was an agency like Social Security that dealt with homelessness and feeding the hungry we would do better.

Anyway, that is my soapbox again.  My focus tonight (actually today since I started writing this blog at 3 in the morning, passed out and it is now 10:30).  is to make sure I have good links.  I am not generating much traffic but if even one person can get access to assistance (right now that would be access to getting fed) I have achieved my goal)

JOURNAL ENTRY #65: thoughts and changes

Been doing some thinking.  For years my personality has been "passive aggressive".  I am not really aggressive and I am not that passive.  However, recently I have been giving thought to this.  I am tired of the passive side to me.  It is time to get more aggressive.  I am missing out on too much.

JOURNAL ENTRY # 64: The usual excuse

Been mentally busy lately.  I know I HATE that excuse.  I have not been able to gather the mental energy to put something together.


Starting this weekend I will be going back to one posting a week, no matter what it is.  No more excuses.

I will say that I am seriously looking for new employment.  I haven't left the government yet,  However, I am checking out agencies that deal with the homeless and seeking entry level employment.  It's about time to work some place I actually feel I am accomplishing something.  No more just getting files for people and doing busy work.

More as it develops.

JOURNAL ENTRY # 63..my republican moment 1

Two things most people know about me:

1.  I work for the federal government
2.  I am not a republican

There are more things but if you have read any of my blog entries I have mentioned that I work for the feds (it's also in my profile) and my views tend to be more moderate.

I had a republican moment though recently and I shared it with a few people, including fellow blogger CJ Anderson (On the right side).

In June my office announced at a meeting that there would be a training in Dallas for the support staff in August.  I wasn't moved at all by the announcement.   Actually most of the support staff wasn't.

Most of my support staff co-workers are upper middle aged.  The average age is near 50.  People with lives and families, etc.  Most aren't interested in traveling to Texas.  They grumbled about it.

For the first part of July we heard nothing about the training except that it would be in Dallas mid-August.  Nothing on the arrangements or anything.

NOW......with the exception of going to visit my mother in Florida I don't fly anymore.  I have too many anxiety issues.  Because of my sinuses my ears close up.  If the plane is in a holding pattern I experience anxiety.  If we are at the runway too long I have anxiety.  So I take the train.  Even if AMTRAK is stuck somewhere I can walk around and keep from losing my mind.    When I do fly I am VERY meticulous with my arrangements.  I fly JetBlue.  They are a great airline plus they have satellite television which helps with anxiety.  For an extra charge they offer seats with more leg room and I can sit in the front of the aircraft.    I fly early in the morning which usually helps me avoid high air traffic and runway waits.  I also avoid the afternoon thunderstorms which plague Florida.  When I arrive in Florida I take my time, get something to eat and gradually get my ground transportation to Daytona Beach.  If I land in Orlando at 9 I may not get to Daytona Beach until 2.  That is how I have to travel if I don't want my blood pressure sky rocketing.

For a training that according to my Union rep is not mandatory, these people have us going to Dallas and back in three days.  My training would be Wednesday-Friday.  I would fly on Wednesday, and, then run to my training at 2.  I would go to the training on Wednesday morning then run to the airport to go back to New York.    Oh and they just allowed us the chance to make our reservations for a training that is two weeks away.

MY REPUBLICAN MOMENT?  For years I have heard mostly republicans talk about downsizing or privatizing government jobs.  It's as if we were welfare recipients just getting a check to show up.  I resented that.  In my office there is a lot of work to be done.   It is also work a contractor should not be doing.  If I make 40K a year I am lucky.  My take home each week is embarrassing.  There are only a few good things about my work, with the tops being the health benefits.  We do not get rich off the government.  HOWEVER, my superiors are trying to force us to go to a non-mandatory training.  I suffer anxiety so I declined the invite.  I have no desire to pop Xanax just to go to Texas during the hottest time of the year.  But I was told I need a doctor's note to excuse me from the trip.  WTF?

I went to a training last year in Kansas City Missouri.  It wasn't mandatory yet I felt pressured to go.  I flew down and took the train back.  I no choice but to take connecting flights going down there but I insisted on taking AMTRAK back.  I booked my trip two weeks in advance and we have to fly the government rate, which in some instances is higher than the regular rate.    My one way flight was about $500.  It was about $95 a night to stay at the hotel.  I was there for about three days (Wednesday thru Saturday).  We get paid a per Diem to eat.  That was about $50 a day for the non travel days and half of that for the travel days.  All of that costed over $1200.  Returning my trip would have cost $695 because it was Labor Day weekend.  As I mentioned I insisted on travelling by AMTRAK.  The job initially resisted but gave in.  AMTRAK was $200.  It would have been $125 but a screw up by the travel agent brought the price up.  So if you add the itinerary it cost taxpayers about $2,000 to go to Kansas City plus the actual price of the training.  A training I did not really need.

Getting back to Texas because we are waiting so long to book the flights the airfare alone could cost $1,000.  The overall trip may actually be more than Kansas City.  And it is not mandatory.  My therapist is writing me a note out of this mess.  Like I said, I am not popping Xanax just to go to Texas.

But my republican moment had me wondering about waste.  To send a group of people halfway across the country on a trip they don't want to go for a training that is not mandatory is waste.  We need more people on staff.  Overtime is rare and you have to almost sacrifice an animal to get it.  Yet money is there to go on trips.  Next time I see a right winger complain out government employees  I will understand

JOURNAL ENTRY #62 another quick rant

Florida issues persist.  I got more calls and texts this week because Mom is not drinking her water and she is supposedly getting mean again.  I am hearing this from multiple sources.  Of course when I speak to Mom she tells me she is drinking.  Of course I don't believe her.

Mom is also not getting up and walking.  Or even moving around.

I have already accepted the fact she will have to be begged t drink water and to get up.  She has absolutely no ambition to do anything except watch television occasionally.

As for her attitude I know that if you push something on her too hard or too often she will bark at you.  Because she cares Maureen will push, maybe too much , but that is how she is.  Mom will on occasion get sarcastic and a little nasty.

Even though there is nothing horrifically wrong with her I think she is waiting to die.  Chronic arthritis and high cholesterol are her biggest problems but I think she may not care anymore.  She is there mentally but is no where near as sharp as she once was.

I guess this is common with some elderly.

My aunt is not as old as Mom (Mom is 87 and my aunt is about to turn 80) and she has very limited mobility but her desire is off the chains compared to my mother.

Sad and stressful.

JOURNAL ENTRY # 61

At age 50 it is harder to digest emotional and mental issues then it was at age 30.  The issues you're going through tend to linger in your mind as well is your body.

Blog update

I have done some reflecting lately.  I think we need to do this from time to time.  I treasure my alone time. In fact I am rarely lonely even though I am alone.

1.  I have started a strong effort to change jobs even though it may mean that I leave the federal government.  This is significant because I have been with the same agency since 1995.  I have a lot of time vested with them.  I have not been happy  though since 2000 and I wasn't exactly thrilled to be there then.  There are a number of reasons I am not happy; lack of a challenge, lack of room for growth, favoritism, lack of interest and  bad leadership all come to mind.    I will state now that the only reason I stayed on this long is because of my parents.  Now that is becoming a non factor.  I have been checking out jobs online with Volunteers of America.  They are within my interests.  If I am not going to be working in comic books I at least want t be useful and work with people and actually help them.  And yeah, I am also looking into moving back west.


2.  I am changing the profile in this blog.  I am still going to focus my entries on homelessness and eldercare but I will no longer limit my profile to that.

JOURNAL ENTRY #60

Today was a down day or reason number 4561 why it sucks to be old OR sick in this country.  Just found out my adoptive godmother may suffer from cuts to Medicaid.  She currently has full time home care because she suffers from dementia.  She has overnight care.  Pretty soon the hours will be cut and it will not cover overnight.  According to an article in the NY Times this is in part due to Governor Cuomo.

ELDER CARE: Questions to ask?

The proceeding link suggests questions you may want to ask a home care agency.  I found the questions helpful yet at the same times I could see the potential problems.  I won't completely spoil it but I will list potential issues when selecting home care for a loved one.

1)  If you are in a situation like my mother and aunt are you may not have Medicaid and Medicare will not cover long term home care.   Not a primary problem but it sets up the following:

2)  A lot of agencies are expensive.  You may be able to get a friend or family member to assist with your loved one.  However, being that this person may be free or less expensive than an agency how do you do a background check?

3)  If you have to deal with an agency and you have limited funds you have to understand that you get what you pay for unfortunately. The more expensive agencies may pay the employees more and they may tend to get better quality of employees.  Key word is MAY.

4)  So if you are dealing with a lower cost agency what questions are you truly willing to ask?  An agency my aunt once dealt with charged her less ($14/hour) but sent her a pregnant worker.  My aunt at the time was almost 100% total meaning she almost needed total care.  Lifting is involved with her.   The young lady had a wonderful personality but my aunt was afraid of her getting injured.

5)  In Florida quite a few of the home care employees were ladies making less than $15 an hour.  A lot worked with no health benefits.  The lower your cost the higher your chance of getting an employee working almost for minimum wage.  And while that is not a flaw in their character they may not be the most qualified and may be taking the job just to make ends meet.  Most people with credentials go for the higher salary.

6)  Going back to the health benefits a lot of the ladies working for my aunt had no health benefits.  They had to work every day or not get paid.  This means you can have a sick worker assisting the elderly who quite often have their immune systems compromised.  But can you afford a home care agency that provides health benefits?


Just a few issues I came up with.  But follow the link and read the article.  It is very thought provoking and can still offer a lot of assistance



http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/questions-to-ask-before-hiring-caregiver-or-home-care-152188.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20May%2020,%202015

GENERAL RANT

I got home about an hour ago in a really pissy mood.  Okay, Mom is doing fine so that at least isn't the issue.  There are times you just get in those moods.  Tonight I think people in general triggered it.

Forgive me.  This is one of those times where something triggered a rant and I was nowhere near my computer so I couldn't write it down.  From what I remember of the trigger it had to do with tolerance.  Financial tolerance.

I know I was thinking about some friends and acquaintances who aren't doing that well financially.  I was thinking about one or two who are really not employable for various reasons so they will be screwed for the rest of their life.    This means they will either die eventually or end up in the prison system or back in the prison system.    Some haven't worked in a long time so even if there still is social security  in 30 years they won' collect any of it.

Then I went back to the unemployable points.  

These people are Black men who I think do not believe in themselves enough to break past the barrier that is keeping them down.  Some are in need of psychological counseling.  Not because they are psychotic but because I sense there may be some degree of mental illness preventing them from succeeding.    Sadly, as I mentioned they will probably end up in a prison or dead.  In New York they will almost definitely be homeless.  Homeless in part because society (average folks)  allowed themselves to be manipulated into believing too hard into the tough love theory.  That theory of pulling yourself by your bootstraps, whatever that means.  Meanwhile we are allowing the same politicians who are cutting public assistance to bail out companies and cut their taxes.  Corporations are worth more than people.  Even for the lazy folks it is easier to slam them for making $400 in welfare and food stamps.

I have had this rant before.  I just need to get this out.

Somehow people have been duped into adapting this theory that if you can't make it on your own, screw you.  Or something close to that.  

Right now I am like, wow, I do want to help these people.  Not only the ones I KNOW but the ones who for one reason or another beg me for food or change on the subway or in front of a bank or restaurant.    I can't help them.  I would want to let them rest their head in my apartment but I barely have room for ME.  It seems like the burden falls on me to take care of them.  This is in part because WE don't want the government to get involved and companies have to make a profit in order to appear to assist.  

I had this discussion with CJ Anderson, writer of ON THE RIGHT SIDE and a friend.  We were talking about the government giving funding to AMTRAK after the recent crash.  He wants all forms of public transportation to be run by private industry.  The point is people NEED public transportation.  It's bad enough the Metropolitan Transit Authority  has very well paid people on its board and they keep raising the fare when they see fit.  Why can't we help because it's the right thing to do?

ELDER CARE INFO Water intake link

Below please find a link to a site that discusses water intake for seniors  One of my mother's biggest problems is that she will not drink water, or at least sufficient water.  We basically have to beg her to drink.  She just blows us off not realizing the lack of hydration can cause kidney and bladder problems as well as constipation issues.  Lack of water can cause of problems in concentration

http://www.anfponline.org/Publications/articles/2006_03_Water.pdf

This link may offer suggestions to getting your elderly loved one to drink more

Mom not paying her bills...again

Maureen let me know Mom is not drinking water or paying her bills again.   Of course there is no indication of this when I actually speak to Mom.  Everything is fine when I talk to her.    Of course I suspect she is not paying her bills.  I take care of her electric bill but she has to write a check for the water and for the mortgage.


God willing I will be with my mother in Florida this Sunday which will be Mother's Day.  I am hoping it will not be stressful.

Moves

I found it necessary to make some personal moves.  I recently went to the doctor and found that I now weight 270 pounds.  I am attributing this weight gain to a lack of exercise and to not drinking water.  I have not increased my food intake so it has to be the fact that I am sedentary. And I attribute that to the stress I am under.  While I have not necessarily increased my food intake I am not really eating the right things either and I tend to eat junk when I am stressed.    Of course Florida is the main source of my stress.   I cannot allow myself to balloon to 300 pounds.

As of June 1st I am going on a specific diet.  How specific?  I am doing my best to have the majority of my protein consist of fish.  I am eliminating sweet soda from my diet for a month. Any soda I drink will be club soda or seltzer water. In fact this entire diet is for a month.  I will avoid cookies and cakes.  This is how I am looking at my June menu:

Breakfast:  Pretty much what I want though I will try to avoid pancakes, waffles and sweet sodas

Lunch:  Fish sandwiches.  Either tuna or salmon salad.  If I must eat out I will have a fish sandwich

Dinner:  This will be the hardest part.  I want to have fish as my main course along with two vegetables.  Try to avoid potatoes and pasta.  Try to avoid eating after 9.

If I am at least reasonably successful I will carry this over through July.

I MIGHT consider using ground turkey a few times.

JOURNAL ENTRY 59: Not quite there yet

My godson moved out recently so this is the first time I have had my apartment to myself.  Dad passed away March 2011 and my godson's mother stayed with me on and off until she got on her feet.  Then my godson moved in after being at the mercy of unscrupulous people.  One day I will get into the apartment situation in New York City and how expensive it is.  People illegally  rent out rooms in their houses and apartments.  Most of the time you can't even use the address for your mail.  But that is another story for another day.  The point of this blog entry is that my godson moved out after being here for a couple of years.  And that adventure (not really a bad one) is the topic of another entry sometime in the future.

After Dad passed away I never truly had the opportunity to thoroughly clean the apartment.  Heck, we had papers  and...things all over while he was alive. When he passed I got rid of a few items, primarily some clothes ( I am still trying to find a charitable organization to give the coats to).    Most of the things here I didn't throw away or even look at with the exception of financial documents.  I JUST started doing that this weekend. 

I found that going through y father's belongings was painful a few years ago and it still stings now.  In fact I just came across a letter I wrote to Dad back in 1975 followed by a letter I wrote in 1973.  I had to put in down.  Those will be placed in a special box until I am ready to read them.    All this just helps me realize again that I am really still not ready to go through his belongings. 

I thought about it before but I am really understanding now that I have been off the grid since 2011.  I was never on the radar to start off with.  Dad was the main one to call and keep up with people.  I didn't think it was possible but I have gone even further into the shadows.  It's not something I wanted to do, it is something that just seemed to happen.  Once I get my living conditions in order I am going to slowly step out of this cave.

ELDER CARE INFO: Transferring a house

I am looking into this more.  I can only presume that each state will have its own laws regarding Medicaid and the transfer of a house (check out the links for general information). 

https://www.caring.com/questions/transfer-of-property-prior-to-entering-nursing-home

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/02/realestate/02home.html?_r=0

JOURNAL ENTRY 58: Effing up

It's only four months into the year and I am screwing up on at least one of my resolutions; the one to write a blog entry once a week.

To be totally honest my mind has not been on writing lately.  There are times during the year  I deal a little ore with Florida issues as well as work related stuff and I don't have the focus to write.  The past month was one of those times.

Most recently Mom was diagnosed with an infection and was prescribed two antibiotics.  Medications and my mother do not always go hand in hand so that brought on immediate anxiety.  I am told weekly that she does not drink enough water so there goes another anxiety attack.    Thank God I have a therapist or I would probably go mad from a lack of venting.

I may amend the resolution to writing twice a month but first I will see how the personal life goes.

JOURNAL ENTRY 57

It's official.  I visit Mom on Mother's Day and I come back to New York the following weekend.  And while I WISH I could say that I am just going down for Mother's Day I will attempt to attend  to her hearing issues.  Her hearing aid will need to be serviced and she may need to see her ear doctor as well. Then there's the caregiver issue as well as certain legal forms, so as usual it will not be a vacation.

And I am not telling Mom that I am coming down until the day I get there.    I have gotten complaints that my mother gets mean just before I come down.  I am not sure if this is because I am coming down or if there are just too many women in that house at times. 

HOMELESS RANT

The common argument I come across when I say that the government should do more for the homeless is that it is not the job of the government to do things like that.  "People need to take care of themselves".  That's what a friend of mine says each time we debate the issue.  Actually not just that particular issue.  Most of our discussions center around  why the government should do less for these people.  My friend, as you can probably tell, is a conservative. A Black Conservative.  In fact he used to write a blog ( http://cjontherightside.blogspot.com/) and spew the usual rhetoric you often hear from Republicans.  The sad thing is that often they are right.  People SHOULD help themselves.  Most probably do.  With those who can't I don't understand why my tax dollars can't go to assisting them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On this particular day (today) I got on the subway and was greeted by this person (I think this is a woman, but since she had her back to me for my entire ride I cannot tell).  She (for argument sake)  had the entire section of the car to herself even though she did not smell offensive.   Generally offensive odor sections off the subway car.  The temperature outside must have been in the upper 20s.  I sat across from her for the entire ride lasting about six minutes. 

 

 

 

The average person cannot do anything immediate about this except maybe pass a couple of dollars and perhaps some food.   The only help she and most others in her situation can get is when people seriously pressure our elected officials to actually physically do something.  PROVIDE more shelter.  Correction, more SAFE shelter.  Yes, people should help themselves, but what if you can't help yourself?  What about mental illness?  What about hose who are essentially unemployable?  Why is it acceptable to punish those who cannot measure up to our standards?    Why is it someone has to create a profit off these people before they will help them?

 

 

JOURNAL ENTRY #56: Another anniversary

Wow, March 10th will make four years that Dad passed away.  I refuse to say something like "I can't believe....".  I will simply say that I still miss him. It always seems like it is not a person's time to go, but I had him with me for 47 years.  I appreciated every minute I had him.  I am still sad to not have him but I can let go.  I have let go.  For the most part.  Not a day does by where I don't think of him.  Not a day goes by where I don't think of something I have done and wonder if he would have done it the same way.  Not a ay goes by where I don't think of our daily phone calls.

This year I will be spending the anniversary of his death in Daytona Beach.  I have things to do with Mom this year.  Before I leave I am creating a playlist on my IPod of music I know he would have enjoyed.  It will be all jazz.  When I am finished creating the list I will write the songs on this blog.  Some of the songs I have to purchase.  Looking to be listening to the tunes by Thursday.

HOMELESS RANT 2

I am always the cynic. I think that people cannot make enough profit off of the homeless so they won't do anything Plus I honestly think a lot of people just don't give a damn.

 

http://www.vox.com/2014/5/30/5764096/its-three-times-cheaper-to-give-housing-to-the-homeless-than-to-keep

 

 

HOMELESS RANT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I'm walking down the steps of the 5th Avenue train station on the E yesterday evening and there is a store that sells Lotto tickets on the mezzanine level so I start thinking about that 500 million Powerball that I didn't win.  As I pass the store where I would normally purchase a ticket I see a homeless man half asleep in the doorway.  My thoughts almost immediately go to thining of what I would do for this guy if I actually won.  Then it dawns on me...there is not one damn thing I can do for this man...or the one sleeping five yards away from him.  In fact giving up the entire 500 million would actually do nothing to help the homeless population.  I touched on this before and now I am going to harp on it.  It is my OPINION that there will always be a homeless problem not only in this city but in this country because people really don't care about the homeless, the hungry or the mentally ill unless it directly affects them or unless they can make a profit off those affected.

 

 

 

 

Once again IN MY OPINION, the only ways to come close to eradicating homelessness are to aggressively deal with mental illness for one thing.  Recognize that the mentally ill may not be able to care for themselves and it is inhumane to leave them to fend for themselves.  In dealing directly with the homeless issue you need a joint effort from the government and non-profit agencies.  You definitely need federal and state agencies overseeing most of it along with non profit groups dealing with the hunger portion of the problem as well as the sheltering issue.  The problem cannot be handed to people trying to make money.  A Black conservative once told me that hospitals were here to make money.  I thought they were here to help people get well.  Homelessness and hunger are not problems to get rich from.  You have to eliminate that if you really want to assist people in need.

 

The areas to make a profit can come from job placement. When trying to place employable homeless maybe companies can try to earn a profit from referrals or whatever training they may have to provide.  You should still have government and non-profit agencies around for that as well.

 

It started as a well intended thought though.  Maybe after I win I could get this man off the street and get him a home, but it can't work like that.  For one, there are too many people like him and I would literally throw money away.    The problem is bigger than people.

 

 

JOURNAL ENTRY 55: BELATED 50TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Yesterday I celebrated my 50th birthday with family and friend who essentially are family.  My cousin arranged it last month and I had no idea how many people she actually invited.

Now my birthday was last month.  However, I spend my birthday with my mother (whose birthday is the day before mine) so I couldn't celebrate in New York.  And being that it is Mom I wouldn't spend it any other way.  This was a great second though.  If anyone is reading this now I thank you for a wonderful evening.

JOURNAL ENTRY #54: Dementia risk linked to over the counter meds

As if it couldn't get any worse, a study has linked Benadryl and a number of over-the-counter medications to dementia.  The focus appears to be on sleep aids.  I have provided two links to articles on it.  A few doctors (mostly the ones that favor holistic treatments) have linked foods and even some medications to dementia and Alzheimer's.  I see their point.  Recently I have wondered of the things that are the market contribute to dementia and other ailments.  Something interesting in the articles I read pertaining to this is that a side effect with each is memory loss. 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11370231/Drugs-like-Nytol-and-Piriton-raise-risk-of-Alzheimers-disease-say-scientists.html


http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/288546.php

JOURNAL ENTRY #53: To walk or not to walk

NURSE ON CALL in Daytona Beach came to evaluate my mother for physical and occupational therapy.  According to the home attendant they recommend she walk to and from the commode as opposed to being wheeled.  Easier said than done.

Don't get me wrong, as long as she has someone walking with her I fully support my mother walking as opposed to being wheeled.

However,

I remember a few years ago when she transitioned from walking to using a cane to using the walker.  She complained more about her balance more than anything which is why she went to the wheelchair.  Her legs were strong.

The way I reason it, there are going to be things she will go through that she not explain or be able to. This is why I won't push too hard.  It's like her eyes.  Her eyes are paralyzed.  We gave up trying to figure out why after they suggested surgery, but she now has cataracts.  They should be removed but that also requires surgery.  The doctors suggested that as long as she can see and read there is no urgency to remove them.  I personally feel that because she can see somewhat (I never know with her) she doesn't want to risk losing that.  She will live with the cataracts.  Similar with the walking situation.  She CAN walk but her balance is a little off sometimes and she is afraid of falling.  I won't push her.  I can also guarantee you she will not walk everyday either.

Homeless Talk

This is an article I found which lists the top ten states in this country as it pertains to having homeless people.  New York and Florida making the list doesn't surprise me.  Idaho and the Dakotas do.

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/poorest-list/10-most-homeless-states-in-america/8/

JOURNAL ENTRY 52: Why bother Part 1

I toyed around with this blog entry for several weeks now.

 

I am wondering if I have Mickey Mantle syndrome. I don't think any such syndrome actually exists, at least not officially. For those who are not familiar with one of the all-time great baseball players, Mantle played for the New York Yankees in the 1950s through the late 1960's.  However, legend has it that he led a reckless lifestyle in part because he believed he would not live to be an old man. Apparently a lot of people in his family passed away at early ages so he figured he would not live to be 70. So he supposedly drank in excess and partied and ultimately did not take care of himself properly. Supposedly. He died in his sixties .  I believe of liver cancer.

 

No I do not think I want to start boozing it up or God forbid even start taking hard drugs.  I do wonder though the purpose of going to the extreme to take care of myself. Here is one example:
I recently ran into a neighbor who is also a friend and more importantly was good friends with my father when he was alive. They also went to the same church. She has to be in early seventies. I don't see her too often but when I do we greet each other warmly. I give her a kiss and a hug, almost as if she were an aunt or a grandmother. When I saw her it was no different but in this conversation she asked how my father was doing. An embarrassing moment, I brushed it off why politely reminded her but he passed in 2011. She seemed oblivious to it. This is not the first time in a conversation with her that I realized something wasn't right. Naturally, I am wondering if memory loss is present. Hopefully she is not in the early or even mid stages of dementia.

 

 We are hearing about it more and more now; people suffering from dementia and memory loss.  You hear about Alzheimers  Disease as well. I have shared my feelings about that term in this blog.  I think Alzheimers disease is an overused term.

 

From the time I was a child I can recall seeing commercials and news reports that supported early detention, the use of vitamins, basically taking better care of yourself so that you can live a long life. Even though the government allowed cigarette smoking there were plenty of ads supporting the ban of the use of cigarettes. On television people routinely talked about drinking less alcohol and watching your weight, watching your blood pressure, watching your cholesterol and basically eating healthy. I went along with that program. Still do. But now I am wondering, for what? There is a part of me that wonders if that whole wellness campaign was just another marketing ploy to get money.

Back quick glance my theory may seem paranoid. However, if you think about it this country does very little for anyone unless someone can make a profit. Why give out advice to extend people's lives? Obviously to cash in on it. The problem is that as we grow older, even though we may have tried our best to take care of ourselves we still run into problems.   We all have to die from something. Some of it is genetics. Personally, I believe God has our destiny in his hands. For those who don't believe, let's just say we are genetically coded. Somethings you can probably fix with a pill or dietary change while others there is nothing you can do about.

 

There are a lot of people living to be 70, at and beyond. Probably more than we experienced 50 or 60 years ago. The problem is though people may have taken care of themselves and gotten screened for cancer and heart disease, they still fell victim to debilitating arthritis and other elements. The bottom line is they are 70 and 80 years old in poor physical and/or mental condition and cannot afford the care it takes to keep them alive. The state of elder care, especially in the United States is horrific. If you were not fortunate enough to have a sizable nest egg and be blessed with good health in your old age you will suffer.

 

There are a lot of people who are not quite yet middle class. They may have had families and other expenses which prevented them from saving a lot of money. Now they are old and quite often the family they raised cannot properly assist them. Nobody wants to give good health care. Some people have even lost pensions.  So I look at all of this and ask is it worth it?  I am rapidly realizing it does not.

 

I am convinced now that environmental conditions and mostly the food we eat and water we drink contribute to certain neurological conditions. Yes, I believe a lot of the post things that are passed around on Facebook regarding genetically processed foods. We are consuming too many items that have no nutritional value. Forget the fact that whatever they are treating the foods with are harmful to our bodies. I believe this is a major contributor two people who have dementia and other neurological conditions. Forget the fact most of our politicians want to sweep this under the rug and not even let us know about it. Personally I think there are some who want to make it illegal for us to know about it. Think about it. For years when I was growing up the country pushed margarine on us to use as opposed to lard and butter. However, if you checked out the ingredients of margarine there was nothing of any significant nutritional value in it. In fact, in moderation butter and lard where better for us than margarine because at least it had items the body could use.

 

It gets worse. There are certain items we eat that no longer spoil. Some of the pastries we eat including breads often do not spoil no matter how long we keep it at room temperature. there are packaged pastries I've had on my desk for months that look the same as they did when I first purchased it. It may get a little stale but there's no mold on it. These are the kind of things we are putting into our bodies without a second thought. These are the things I think contribute to deteriorating mental health as we grow older. Our bodies are not only facing malnutrition but we are being poisoned.

 

So now more of us are facing a future of dementia and memory loss. Even if not connected to the foods we eat, more of us are living longer and it is quite possible we are genetically coded for memory loss and dementia. With no way to pay for assistance. Even if you can afford the care, with the low wages we offer caregivers we won't get much quality. My mother and her sister went through that. There are a few horrifying events in our life, but none as fearful as not being able to assist yourself and having to depend on a third party who may or may not show up. My mother pays close to $2000 for ladies to come and help her clean herself, bathe and eat. Eventually she will not be able to afford this and maybe, hopefully Medicaid will help. God forbid she needs to go to a nursing home with the care can be even worse.

 

I am just renting right now, however you may be able to see what my gripe is. I seriously doubt if it is worth it to put the effort in to have a long life. I personally feel but growing old is a luxury afforded by people with money. That's the way it was meant to be.

JOURNAL ENTRY 51 : The State of Florida

Been back from Florida for a full week.    I think the month long trip was moderately successful.  I got to take my mother to a few appointments.  Things may not improve greatly but they are stabilized. 

Got blood work done.  Mom has an under active thyroid.  The doctor is concerned about her sodium level and the cholesterol level have not changed.    He prescribed a supplement for the thyroid.

Got eyes checked.  Cataracts are the same, but with the eye paresis I will not press the issue when it comes to removing them.  Her vision is the same and the eye issues continue.  Still a problem with dry eye.

Caregiver issue remains.  Had to cut hours.  Mom is paying $2000  month for care.  Some people feel that if it is needed just pay it, but it is not coming out of their pockets.  Plus, to go from paying nothing two years ago to paying two grand would be shocking to anybody.

Have to keep pushing the water.  I was told that her mood changes when she doesn't drink the water as she should and I notice it.  She is more forgetful when she fails to drink.

Brought in her birthday, Christmas and New Years.

Took her to church.

Took her to a couple of functions and out to eat.

I often wonder if Mom is going to be here next year.  I think she can if she keeps up with her water.  Her cholesterol is not going to change but she doe not need to be dehydrated.  She moves around less than I would like but at least she moves.  I talk to her at least twice a day to help keep her spirits up.

What's next:  Tax forms and personal forms (POA, Advanced Directive and Living Will)

JOURNAL ENTRY 50: MY 2015 New Years Resolution

For now I won't even get into my resolutions for 2014 and how well I did...or didn't do.  I have though made a list of things I want to accomplish for 2015.  I think this is a more realistic list even though I shouldn't put limitations on myself.  Oh, and I start in February since I was in Florida till mid January.   Here is the list for this year:

1.  Save at least $1 a week.  Now with this resolution I got the idea from a Facebook posting a few weeks ago asking people to progressively start saving from $1. Week one you save $1.  Week 2 you save $2, and so on.  By the time the your ands you would have saved over $1000.  I will try this by sliding the money into my savings.

2.  Take my green tea and Omega oils regularly.  Gonna see how long I last doing this.  I need to keep these two things on hand.  Already started today (January 19th) with the tea extract.  On the days I don't take the liquid I shall take the capsules.

3,  Take my lunch to work at least three days a week.  This is actually harder than it sounds. To achieve this I must get up early enough to fix a sandwich or prepare a hot meal PLUS not get tired of what I have to eat.  The purpose of this is to save money (prices are outrageous) and be confident what I eat is clean and safe.

4.  Do at least ONE blog entry in both blogs (two blogs entries in total) each week.  I must embrace my more creative side.  Plus, the photography blog just means posting pictures I took.  I will try to take a new picture each week as well.

5.  Lose five pounds by June.  Good luck.

6.  Keep up with my fitness apps.  Self explanatory. 

7.  Be more aggressive in moving.  Most of this means to find work.

8. Aside from Florida make at least TWO weekend trips AWAY from New York.  Again self-explanatory.  I just need to not be in this city everyday.  It doesn't have to be eight hours away.  Philadelphia is cool.  This means that I need ME time.

I think these are reasonable goals to shoot for.  Left off this list are driving lessons.  When it is meant for me to drive I will drive.  I will keep weight loss attempts realistic.  I work and get home after 8:00 so my eating habits are going to vary.   I will keep you posted.  I may just add a resolution.

Assisted living help

Assisted Living Facility link


http://www.agingcare.com/Questions/how-do-you-find-a-reasonable-assisted-living-facility-175689.htm?utm_source=Daily+Questions&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%20Questions%20-%20January%204,%202015

Florida gripes

I personally have never liked Florida. My mother moved here in 1996 and I visit here often only for her. Yes, I come to see my aunt as well but she is part of the package deal with my mother. I hate almost everything about the state. And I have absolutely no use for it before October and after April. After April you are dealing with the worst weather on the globe. It straightens out a bit in October but it is still awful. Aside from that, the mentality in Florida leaves you scratching your head. Allstate full of old people and they vote for Rick Scott. Very limited healthcare and the job market savouries service pipe employment. If you want to work in a supermarket, restaurants, theme park or hotel they are plenty of jobs for you at low wages and no health insurance. Additionally, this is the state that exonerated Casey Anthony for killing her daughter. It is also the state with jervey routinely sentence black offenders to eat a life or the death penalty. However, it is the same type of jewelry that so fit to exonerate this piece of garbage:

 

http://www.cnn.com/2015/01/10/us/george-zimmerman-arrested/index.html

 

There are times I think Florida maybe did not get it wrong with this animal. Ever since he was acquitted of murder he hasn't had one altercation after another with law enforcement. Specifically he has had to deal with the police a few times. No specific encounter is against the cops. He has had a couple of domestic violence charges. And I wonder, if it was meant for him to be free so that he can be a poster child to a racist community that feels that whites and Blacks should be judged differently

ELDER CARE TALK: Water with links on the benefits of drinking water

My mother's caregiver has to constantly remind her about the water.  You would be amazed at how much a lack of it damages senior health.

http://www.aplaceformom.com/senior-care-resources/articles/elderly-dehydration

Years ago my mother would drink nothing but water.  She and her sister would drink hot water from the kettle.  Almost never coffee and only occasionally tea.  Now, we have to almost force Mom to drink.  It's not that she outright refuses.  It seems like she has no interest though.  As if she doesn't care.


http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/112365.php

From time to time Mom suffers from constipation.  Drinking water helps eliminate that problem.  Doesn't cure it but it makes the constipation flare up happen less frequent.


http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/12-unexpected-benefits-drinking-hot-water.html

Cancer Teen Thoughts

This case caught my attention while I was in Florida.  I have mixed feelings on it.

On one hand, even though I am not a huge supporter of a lot of modern medicine because it seems to ignore natural and holistic plus I feel chemotherapy is toxic, it has been proven to save lives.  I still think there are better less toxic methods but chemo has worked.  On the other hand it is scary that a court can not only force a person to take a medication but it can mandate that a parent only have contact with their child during certain times. 

A part of me wonders if the state is only forcing this because of money.  Who is paying for these treatments? 


http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/connecticut-teen-curable-cancer-must-continue-chemo-court-n282421

Congress voting to redefine work hours

Essentially Congress is voting to say fuck you to people who need affordable health care. I blame both parties. There are obviously people in this country who need affordable health care. Why Republicans are only for people who don't want it is beyond me.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/house-votes-to-change-health-laws-definition-of-full-time-worker-1420753634

Freelance help

Check out www.agingcare.com  .  They have pretty good forum and answer a lot of questions.  This one is directed towards people looking for help in the home from non agency workers.

http://www.agingcare.com/Questions/anyone-hired-a-free-lance-person-to-help-in-home-175666.htm?utm_source=Daily+Questions&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%20Questions%20-%20January%204,%202015

I have mixed feelings regarding the whole freelance home health situation. On one hand it is nice to be able to negotiate a price with someone who can help. The problem is, you wonder if these people are doing it for the money or for genuine need to assist. I have always felt that health care or at least the payment of people who assist the elderly, should be handled by a government agency. You have senior citizens who are not capable of handling their own financial affairs. However, they're not quite ready to be thrown away into a nursing home.  I look at my mother's situation. I do not trust her to pay her help each week on her own. However, she is so independent she will not let me take care of that.  Sadly she even needs help with paying.

Another problem with freelance help is that you have to take care of checking references yourself. You honestly have no idea what's working in your home. You may get a bargain price and end up losing all of your jewelry and cash. As we slowly evolve as a society, the richest society in the world, perhaps we will come up with a pleasant solution for freelance help versus conventional assistance.

USUAL RANT: Elder care and homeless issues should be government issues

I know.  If conservatives have their way this will never happen. 

I had a night from hell.  Mom was late paying the caregiver last night.  Again. she is taking it personal because she is the only lady my mother delays with. At times it seems like Mom doesn't even want to pay the lady

I know mom doesn't dislike her.  However, my mother is more comfortable with this lady than she is with the others.   She is more like a daughter.    Doesn't make the behavior right but  it is what it is.  Bottom line is we had to shave some of the hours.  Currently mom is paying $10 to the ladies and they work 40-45 hours a week.  I have to get it to 30-35 hours.  Not easy since Mom is never ready when she needs to be.  I am in Florida for my last week.  I need this resolved.

As for the government, it is ridiculous that senior citizens pay for their own home care.  With so many of them facing dementia and other health issues it would make more sense for the  government to handle that whether the senior has insurance or not.  I guess private industry ca't make a large enough profit....