My godson moved out recently so this is the first time I have had my apartment to myself. Dad passed away March 2011 and my godson's mother stayed with me on and off until she got on her feet. Then my godson moved in after being at the mercy of unscrupulous people. One day I will get into the apartment situation in New York City and how expensive it is. People illegally rent out rooms in their houses and apartments. Most of the time you can't even use the address for your mail. But that is another story for another day. The point of this blog entry is that my godson moved out after being here for a couple of years. And that adventure (not really a bad one) is the topic of another entry sometime in the future.
After Dad passed away I never truly had the opportunity to thoroughly clean the apartment. Heck, we had papers and...things all over while he was alive. When he passed I got rid of a few items, primarily some clothes ( I am still trying to find a charitable organization to give the coats to). Most of the things here I didn't throw away or even look at with the exception of financial documents. I JUST started doing that this weekend.
I found that going through y father's belongings was painful a few years ago and it still stings now. In fact I just came across a letter I wrote to Dad back in 1975 followed by a letter I wrote in 1973. I had to put in down. Those will be placed in a special box until I am ready to read them. All this just helps me realize again that I am really still not ready to go through his belongings.
I thought about it before but I am really understanding now that I have been off the grid since 2011. I was never on the radar to start off with. Dad was the main one to call and keep up with people. I didn't think it was possible but I have gone even further into the shadows. It's not something I wanted to do, it is something that just seemed to happen. Once I get my living conditions in order I am going to slowly step out of this cave.
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