Elder Care link to agingcare.com

I found this to be a pretty good read. I have  first hand experience with someone with number 4. Almost had to deal with number 5. All in all, if you are a caregiver you understand all of these points. If you have never had to care for a Senior then not to sound rude but you really don't have a clue.

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/things-not-to-say-to-a-caregiver-152083.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20December%2031,%202014

Washington Post article on police

I found this to be a fascinating read. I have longed for this but the approach to the police issue is not completely accurate. It seems like people are focusing more on the racism factor. Personally, I feel the problem is the god complex police officers in this country have. Yes, there is racism factor. But to attack the issue we need to attack this god complex on a federal level. We need standards and nationwide standards for police behavior. You cannot control racism but you can control general behavior and have a standard of behavior. For now, one of the only solutions I see would be to have cameras on every police officer. I don't care if the cops don't like the idea. For me the ones who are against cameras all the ones with something to hide. It has nothing to do with their ability to do their jobs. If the camera goes off and a controversial issue occurs then we should go with the citizen's version of the story. You see, part of the problem is we automatically take an officer's point of view as law. Police men and women are human beings who occasionally make mistakes and yes, occasionally lie. They should not be held to that high of a standard over the average citizen. I participated in a Facebook post not too long ago and the friend of my friend essentially told called people who live in Flatbush Brooklyn filth. I have always been one to allow people to say what they feel so I tried not to be offended. However, you can clearly see how people are viewed in ethnic neighborhoods. You cannot stop the police from working there. However, if you create on nationwide standard of behavior you may prevent more deaths.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/12/06/i-was-a-st-louis-cop-my-peers-were-racist-and-violent-and-theres-only-one-fix/

Journal entry number 49... Christmas in Florida (delayed posting)

It's never easy coming down to Florida. I do it now at least three times a year and each time is just as difficult. Most of it is made up in my mind. I always worry that this particular visit to mom maybe the last. At age 87 I never really know when it's the last time I will see her. You thank God each time you see her healthy and definitely praise him for the fact she is still there to greet me. Like I said, most of this I do to myself. So far  everything is fair. Mom is gradually declining health wise. Not alarmingly, but definitely steady. Her memory is going.  She has asked me questions regarding Christmas dinner over a dozen times. I know this is her favorite time of the year. It has been ever since we lived in Brooklyn. Christmas comes a little more than a week after her birthday. The two of us used to spend her birthday, mine and Christmas together. Personally, I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. This particular Christmas I am cooking in the house by myself. Mom is with her sister around the corner. As I cook, I reflect on holidays past. And I think back to Dad. I guess when you get to be my age you do a lot of that. Sometimes you reflect more than you appreciate what is going on now. I have been blessed. I have never had a bad Christmas. My parents made sure of that. I spent most of my Christmas is with my mother. I would listen to Christmas music as she cooked multiple dishes. Today she can't cook anymore. My cousin and I handle that. My mother and her sister just sit back and hopefully enjoy what the two of us cook and bake.

Elder issues

http://www.agingcare.com/News/test-distinguishes-alzheimers-from-aging-168962.htm

Nursing home questions

An interesting question:

http://www.agingcare.com/Questions/what-questions-ask-a-nursing-home-175352.htm?utm_source=Daily+Questions&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%20Questions%20-%20December%2018,%202014

When Dad was alive I was faced with that question as well. Unfortunately he passed away just before I would have had to make a decision. Because we did not qualify for Medicaid Dad probably was coming home.
So I saw that question in a forum that I am a part of and I figured I would add the link to it. There is no easy way to select a nursing home. Having to choose a nursing home to start off with is hard.

Journal entry number 48... A small start...

I still think a better start would be addressing the attitude.  This godlike attitude some officers have that you cannot look at them or question them needs to be dealt with.

http://m.mic.com/articles/106392/congress-just-passed-a-bill-addressing-police-killings-while-no-one-was-looking

Journal entry number 47... About the name change

The hardest part about writing this is coming up with an appropriate title.  The blog is supposed to be mainly about eldercare and homeless issues but I jump into a few other ideas.  A friend  whom I thought knew me loves calling me a liberal but I have middle of the road views.  I thought I was a centrist but after reading up on them I don't think I fall into that category.  I am really Independent but there is no party in New York called Independent.  Since most of my views are about having some middle ground why not name the blog that?  For now.

The Eric Garner case

                                   

Eric Garner did not deserve to die.

I was not surprised by the grand jury outcome.  This is Staten Island.  I never felt comfortable going out there.  I have a Puerto Rican friend who told me about growing up there with white kids throwing rocks at his window.  I never felt safe when I would visit friends out there.

When I read reports that the grand jury consisted on 14 whites I wasn't surprised.  Personally I didn't think rallying out there before the grand jury was selected was a wise move because you ran the risk of offending potential jurors .  It's not supposed to matter but then again.


http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2014/12/experts_garner_cops_testimony.html


Whether or not Garner was selling loosies and if you thought he was resisting arrest, he was unarmed and not acting violent and did not deserve to die.


http://www.silive.com/northshore/index.ssf/2014/12/live_coverage_as_eric_garner_g.html#incart_most-comments

Journal entry number 46... www.4middleground.blogspot.com

I changed the name of the blog once again. 

Joe Scarborough: ‘I’ve Had It With B.S. on This Network, Other Networks’ Over Ferguson - TVNewser

I woke up early this morning to this rant on MSNBC:



Joe Scarborough: ‘I’ve Had It With B.S. on This Network, Other Networks’ Over Ferguson - TVNewser



I am not angry at him.  In fact I fully understand him.  I don't necessarily agree with his statements but I do understand him.  I even commend Scarborough for having a say much different to those making statements.  Problem is nobody really knows what happened that day in Ferguson when Mike Brown lost his life.  I am hearing that  Brown was running from the officer, running towards the officer, had his hands up and was in the car reaching for the cop's gun (which I find hard to believe)  No matter how you slice it though I don't think Brown should be dead today.



If Brown was in fact doing something wrong then I can understand Scarborough's comments about him and anybody in that situation being dead.  And you wouldn't want to make him a hero. But without knowing the facts we will never know.  But Brown shouldn't be dead today.  And it was wrong for his body to be laying on the street like it was for all those hours.  So even if you don't want Brown as a hero for his alleged actions you must bring to the light his treatment even after death.



Believe it or not I don't think Scarborough is racist for admitting this, even though he attempted to balance his statement by calling George Zimmerman (Trayvon Martin's shooter and killer) a thug when making a comparison. 



I just think feel that a lot more people feel like Scarborough and like he said in his rant, folks don't have the courage to speak how they truly feel.  I have a problem with that.  At least Scarborough is saying how he really feels instead of joining the crowd.  I respect that.

Mood boosting foods

From Yahoo


https://www.yahoo.com/health/8-foods-that-boost-your-mood-101793135533.html

JOURNAL ENTRY 45: The president's legacy (just MY opinion)

President Obama's legacy will be determined by how well he stands up to a hostile congress.

It's been a couple of weeks after the election slaughter and I have been thinking about the future.  Unlike a lot of people I avoided panicking...for now.  According to news reports there was a record low voter turnout so to me this is PART of the reason Republicans got over in the House and the Senate.  Another reason is that you definitely have a solid number of people who believe in the Republican agenda.  Then you have the racists who foolishly blame Obama for everything.  Then you  have the stupid who fail to understand that by voting in a Republican congress  you are almost guaranteeing at least a year of political gridlock.  In the past at least the Democratic majority Senate was able to balance the House.  No matter what though the president has the power of the veto.  This is part of what will build his legacy.

Since 2008 Republicans, either through ideology or racism, have neither cooperated nor compromised with President.  They have essentially made him a lame duck president then blamed him for not getting things done.  This is ironic since when Obama uses his executive authority the same congress threatens legal action saying the president is overstepping his authority.

How soon people forget.  When Obama introduced the Affordable Care Act Republican voted against it, which is understandable, but never came up with an alternative.  It's quite evident the system needed fixing yet Republicans stood strong against the President for their own reasons.  Not to better the country.  Don't get me wrong.  I do not have the so called Obama-care.  I have insurance.  But I would like my neighbor to have some type of healthcare.  From what I have seen regarding the Affordable Care Act I am not overly impressed, but at least people have something.  As much as I may not like Obama-care I dislike the Republicans ten times more for not assisting American Citizens.

Barack Obama has a little less than two years remaining in his presidency and he has to do better.  By this I mean show some balls.  The American People should have not only had the Affordable Healthcare act hammered into their head, but the fact the Republicans wanted to do NOTHING. Republicans should have been SHAMED for their position.  The American Public should have had the message hammered into their head that Republicans were only stalling the bill process because of race.  If Joe Biden was the president bills would have been passed or at least negotiated.  At least more than what we have seen so far.  Each Democratic politician who lost in the 2014 elections has him or herself to blame.  Instead of worrying about distancing themselves from the president how about blasting Republicans for doing nothing since 2008 except close down the government.  Millions of dollars were spent doing everything except tell the truth.  Democrats tried to pass laws, Republicans stalled and never offered a counter bill...unless it included an end to the Affordable Care Act.

So the way I see it, President Obama seriously needs to shine up his image.  For being Black and for fighting for the Affordable Care Act he has already built up a legacy.  If he can stand up to a hostile congress and not back down or cower to people with their own agenda he could go down as one of our greatest presidents.

ELDER TALK: Robin WIlliams and Dad

I often think of Dad (that's a lie...I think about him every day) and as I have said before, even though I miss him I am glad he is not here if he would have to suffer from his illness.  He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. I always had my doubts about that and after hearing the latest news about Robin Williams I have even more doubts.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2829868/Robin-Williams-suicide-triggered-hallucinations-devastating-form-dementia.html

The following is a link from the Mayo Clinic on Lewy Body Dementia:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/lewy-body-dementia/basics/definition/con-20025038

Years ago when I was barely a teenager most older people who were forgetful were called senile.  As I got older the blanket diagnosis was Alzheimer's. 

Dad started deteriorating around the early 2000s but it really came to a head in 2007 when he would start with the hallucinations, particularly at night.  He would wake up and think the apartment was robbed.  He would occasionally ask if our apartment was actually our apartment.  IN 2008 he was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Mind you, according to his doctors there was no official blood test to determine this.  Just a list of symptoms and general observation.  Like I said I have my doubts.

I am not a holistic nut but I do believe that what you put into your body early on can come back to haunt you later.  If you smoke consistently when you are 20 you will hurt yourself when you get to 50.  Dad was a drinker.  He drank consistently until 1984 when he was in his mid-50s.  He was forced to because the alcohol was killing him.  His last time drinking landed him in the hospital with pancreatitis.  He never had another drink rom that point but I think the damage was done.  He was never a big man even though he was six foot one.  He was never heavier than 160 pounds and always had a very slim build. Even though I lack the scientific data I believe that years of drinking along with not being well nourished (he ate like a bird) led to his later condition whether it was Alzheimer's or Lewy Body.  By the time I reach 60 I think we will have at least five major forms of dementia and we won't just refer to it as Alzheimer's Disease.

Homeless rant: Feeding the poor

Unsolved murders and rapings and the cops are worried about this:

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/food-feud-more-cities-block-meal-sharing-homeless-n113271

Also.....I recently saw this on a Facebook posting I shared:


Carter may not have said this but if he did, God bless him

The 'NIMBY' Cities Who Ban the Feeding of the Homeless | The Daily Sheeple

More anti-homeless ish.  Interesting to see how much is being spent to the city in some cases to actually be able to legally feed the poor. 



The 'NIMBY' Cities Who Ban the Feeding of the Homeless | The Daily Sheeple

It is all still about race: Obama hatred, the South and the truth about GOP wins

Say what you want, it has ALWAYS been about race.  The GOP from day one decided not to cooperate with President Obama and stonewalled him on everything he tried to put through.  "Obamacare" had its flaws but nowhere did the Republicans even attempt a solution or an alternative.

It is all still about race: Obama hatred, the South and the truth about GOP wins

To me, the midterm election slaughter last week went down to bought elections and American stupidity.  News reports showed the insane amount of money being spent.  And if as a citizen you actually think that voting Republican is going to solve anything you have got to be mad.  The president still has veto powers.

Now, the president's legacy  will be his affordable health care act.  He will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents though if he shows that he has the balls to go head to head against congress for his last two years in office.

JOURNAL ENTRY 44: Elder talk

In a little over a month I will be back in Florida with Mom, God willing.  I should be there for about three weeks.  On the agenda are three doctor visits and two birthdays.  If the new cholesterol medication works we may have only two visits.  So far Mom seems to be doing fairly well.  We have to keep pushing the water on her.  Something about water and old people.

While I am down there I plan on updating this blog. I would like to update the links as well and maybe add a few .

JOURNAL ENTRY 43: Ebola Talk 3

Since my last entry Kaci Hickox, the nurse involved in the Ebola controversy was allowed to go to her home in Maine where she was promptly instructed by the governor to undergo a quarantine.  Hickox refused and went to court where a judge modified the restrictions.  She still has to be monitored but she can walk freely.

I still feel for her in this situation but I still sided with the governors of both states.  And for THIS particular controversy I blame the White House for not imposing strict standards.  I understand the ways this virus is transmitted but nothing in our guidelines accounts for mistakes or the unknown.  We are assuming the NY doctor who contracted Ebola did something wrong.  We aren't  certain.  We can assume the nurses in Dallas made a mistake but we are not certain how the breach occurred.  I am perfectly comfortable with a mandatory isolation period for everyone coming into the country from the affected regions.  As I said before my biggest concerns are that Hickox (or anyone arrogant enough to think they can't get Ebola)gets sick and gives the virus to people and we can't completely track them. I generally don't wish harm on anybody and I will not start now, however, if Hickox does get sick I will not feel bad for her for what she will have to go through or for the hate mail she will get from panicked citizens.

JOURNAL ENTRY 42: Ebola talk II

I had a short but heated debate with a friend this morning.  We were watching CNN and an interview with Kaci Hickox  the nurse under mandatory quarantine in New Jersey.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/26/health/new-jersey-quarantined-nurse/

We were both in agreement that it was messed up that she is being held even though she claims to be non-symptomatic.  However that is all we agreed on.  Whereas I sympathize with her for being isolated and away from family and loved ones, I still think the United States is not going far enough and I commend New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and New York's governor Andrew Cuomo for their bold and apparently unpopular steps.

Let's face it, the federal government  has guidelines for dealing with this deadly disease and from what THEY tell the public, this virus cannot be spread to others unless the infected person is experiencing symptoms.  It supposedly cannot be spread through the air.  This I get...to a point.  How do we know when a person is supposedly sick enough to start showing symptoms?  More importantly for me, what if my body (for example) takes longer to demonstrate symptoms?  Is it possible to spread to a sick person NOT experiencing a fever?  At what point do you know you have a fever?  An apparent dumb question but if people can have walking pneumonia who is to say they could not walk around sick for a few days and not know it?  Maybe it is more simple than that.  I personally am not prepared to trust a person to on their own accord, monitor their body for symptoms.  Meantime they could be spreading a fatal illness to someone who could pass it to a person who could give it to me.  Not probably, but possibly.

Ever since this became an issue I have been for temporarily shutting travel down to the infected countries  and to people who have recently visited them. I say shut down travel for three weeks then screen people from that point.  There should be a ten day waiting period for anyone attempting to enter this country from any of the hot countries, then a mandatory five day quarantine once they land.  I am in agreement that there should only be a few points of entry for those traveling from West Africa.  At least until this is taken care of.

My friend seemed to care more about Ms. Hickox's freedom.  The United States seems to care more about the loss of revenue to these countries.  I am more concerned about my 86 year old mother and 79 year old aunt contracting the disease.  Two people in Dallas caught it and even though they are recovering I don't need that type of drama.  Plus their homes have been quarantined .  If you can only get Ebola from close personal contact why the quarantine?

JOURNAL ENTRY 41 part 1

Where do I fit in with the homeless situation.  .  I spoke to a friend and neighbor (and good friend of my father before he passed away) and she was telling me this horror story about her father who is blind and how he was only able to get $11 in food stamps.  He couldn't get Medicaid because he got too much in Social Security.  .My various thoughts:

1.   I obviously don't think that there should be as many people living on the streets as we have now.
2.  I DO think it is the responsibility of the government to assist people in need and facing homelessness and hunger. IN addition to private organizations and churches offering pantries and soup kitchens there should be state run facilities.
3.  I do NOT believe that private companies should take the lead in homeless issues or hunger issues.  This is not about profits.
4.  I think that welfare reform was evil and at best , a joke.
5.  I think that whoever thought up the current guidelines for food stamps should be jailed.  Seriously,  nickel and diming people over food.
6.  I would love to have a job assisting people get back on their feet.  
7.  Laws banning the feeding of people should be unconstitutional (Orlando, San Francisco, etc.).
8.  It should be illegal for restaurants to throw edible food into the garbage.
9.  Similarly, it should be illegal for companies to "donate" rotted food to soup kitchens and homeless shelters.  Yes, I have gotten word about this.
10.  US companies should be taxed higher just to do business in the United States if they make their labor in another country.  This is to make it unattractive to set up outside this country while making an enormous profit selling IN the country. 
11. Welfare reform is not working.  There are some folks who for one reason or another are not suitable for employment. 
12.  This will bring a lot of arguments but maybe it's time for the state to section off property and land and designate it for displaced people.  Create a system within it to help those who are trying to get back on their feet and offer good assistance for those trying to get a job.  Everyone should be encouraged to actually find their own place of course. In addition have sufficient mental health assistance available. I know.  Wishful thinking.

I know the preceding is like a wish list on Fantasy Island.  There is obviously money to be made off suffering.  And as long as people are brainwashed into thinking that the homeless and the poor are lazy and should just pull themselves up by their boot strings the situation will stay the same.

Working on finding federal employment in Florida.  At this point I can afford to be choosy but I will entertain moving to Florida at least temporarily. 

I know.  I will make myself a nervous wreck with Mom and I despise the weather down there but I am so sick of New York I am willing to try it.

HOMELESS RANT part 1

I like former President Bill Clinton.  I voted for him twice.  Both times because I actually liked him and believed in him and because his opponent wasn't worth much to me.  However, welfare reform with be a part of his legacy.  I personally think the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996 was one of the worst pieces of legislature ever created.  Not that I am a huge fan of public assistance and the laziness associated with it.  Congress brainwashed people into believing welfare recipients were the cause of the country's financial woes.  Over 18 years ater there is still great unemployment but no safety net for those who could have used that little bit of change.  Even worse I see a huge increase in the homeless population and I blame that in part to this 1996 law.  Check out the links below for the details.  I will break down my feelings at a later date.


http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/abbrev/prwora96.htm

http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-104hr3734enr/pdf/BILLS-104hr3734enr.pdf

JOURNAL ENTRY 40: Ebola and such

For months the world has been hearing about the ebola outbreak in western Africa. Officials have been assuring the public that there is little to worry about here in the United States. Considering you are only supposed to be able to contract this deadly virus through bodily contact with an infected person I would normally not worry.  Then came the report about the cameraman who supposedly got ebola after cleaning a car owned by someone who died from the disease.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/11144663/British-American-contracted-Ebola-cleaning-infected-car.html

 Now I am back to not trusting officials.

As hideous as this sounds I am all for temporarily closing the boarders and heavily screening EVERYONE who has visited western Africa.

If this gentleman can contract ebola without even coming in direct contact with the patient it means to me that you can possibly get it without even coming in contact with the sick individual.   A nurse who supposedly helped treat Thomas Duncan, the man who died last week from ebola, is now being treated for the disease.  Authorities are trying to imply that there may have been a breach in how she used her protective gear.

Companies may lose money if we tightly screen people the way that I suggested but in the long run it could save lives and possibly prevent a nationwide panic.    Think about it.  Even if the only way you get ebola is by physically coming in contact with infected bodily fluids, with a 21 day incubation period it would not take long before there is a pandemic in this country. 



http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/ebola-outbreak-2014-the-terrifying-statistics-you-need-to-see/story-fneuzlbd-1227088785863

JOURNAL ENTRY 39

1.  It's been about a week and Mom is not showing any ill-effects from taking her cholesterol medication.

2.  Checked on the storage room I have for the first time in close to two years.    It reminded me of Dad.  It made me realize (again) that I need to get my ish together and move on and out from the Bronx.

JOURNAL ENTRY 38 Job opportunity

I am applying for a federal job in Daytona Beach.  The position has to do with being a medical document assistant.  I don't have the notice in front of me, lol.  From reading the announcement the job has to do with assisting veterans with applications at the Veterans Hospital in Daytona. 

Two reasons I am applying for this job:

1.  It would put me closer to Mom.
2.  It would get me out of immigration and from working with attorneys.

There is a position for social service assistant but according to the announcement I do not meet the qualifications.  THAT was the job I wanted.  I would have assisted homeless veterans find places to live and things along that line.  I never really wanted to be on the front line.  I enjoy the background and assisting that way.  I am familiar with the VA Hospital.  I had to take Dad there.    Customer service from that end is better than from working with the attorneys.  Granted, I really don't want to move to Florida, but here's hoping I can move around better there than I did at Homeland Security.

JOURNAL ENTRY 37..Reason 23,476 why I don't want to be a senior citizen

More ramblings.

The Colesterpol came last week.  I was worried to death Mom would get sick from the medication and complain about it upsetting her stomach.  Ends up she couldn't swallow the pill.  It was too big.  I called the doctor and he ordered a powdered form of the drug.  It was picked up Friday.  On Saturday she took her half a package dose with water.  She only took half of THAT.  It tasted funny.  My aunt told me later Mom complained about it bothering her throat.    Apparently the mixture didn't completely dissolve in the water.  They should have tried again today with apple sauce.

Thank God, as of this writing I am only allergic to legumes and a host of pet dander and airborne stuff.  I am not allergic to any medications so far.  I AM skeptical though about taking medications.  They all have side effects, some horrific sounding.  I personally think that in some cases I am better off dealing with the illness rather than the side effects of medications taken to stop the illness.  I think I will probably die of some disease because I won't want to deal with the side effects of the potential cure.

JOURNAL ENTRY 36 What I cannot articulate Part 2

These are just random ramblings I guess.

For the past couple of weeks I have been having headaches.  The pain is on the side of my head just above my ears.  First week the pain was on the left side, not it is on the right hand side. I have felt this pain before.  Headache coming from stress.  I tend to grit my teeth a bit.  When I had the pain years ago the doctor actually showed me where the headache came from.  Basically, the muscles in my face are tight and I am tense and that is where the pain is from.  Why am I tense?  Probably from a multitude of sources, starting with Florida.  Every call I make out there I am worried.  Every day I think I am going to get THAT call regarding my Mom.   Then there's the finances.  I am behind in my bills, in part because I am going to Florida.  Then there's the job.  No supervisor problems currently but I really want to leave that place.  My wanting to move out of New York probably connects with that stress too.

I tell myself to relax but it is usually easier said than done.

During the last trip down ending last week there were no serious problems.  I am concerned with the cholesterol but hey, if she can't tolerate the medication so be it.  If the cholesterol ends up being a fatal issue I really can't be too upset.  She is 86 years old.  I still try my best though

JOURNAL ENTRY 35 What I can't articulate part 1

This is another ramble blog entry.  I was in Florida and because of a few observations I am back on my rant about only wanting to live to be 60.  I have improved though.  I wouldn’t mind 70.

To be frank I am saying that I would be satisfied if I only lived to be 70 years old.  I would pray that God keeps me healthy and that I have a meaningful life through that time.   I think about my parents and other elders and I think 70 is quite enough.  I have never been able to fully articulate why.  I doubt if I will in this entry.  I will however ramble through it.

My dad lived to be 83 years old.

With the exception of the Alzheimer’s disease he was reasonably healthy.  At least through his 80^th birthday.  I eventually did all the cooking and had to accompany him everywhere beyond the block.  What disturbed me mostly though was the dementia.  That is an awful thing to watch someone go through.   My adopted godmother goes though it now and her case is worse than Dad’s.  She wanders and gets combative.  She puts clothing in the microwave and hides food.  My aunt is 79 years old and is severely physically limited.  She is confined to a wheelchair. And needs help with the most basic of her needs.

My mother and her sister live together.  It is my aunt’s house.  Home attendants are there all day, starting at 9:00 in the morning.  There are generally two attendants between 9-1.   The other stays till 3.  The other comes back at 4 and stays through 10 when she puts the sisters to bed.  The last comes in at midnight and stays though the morning.

This is expensive of course and my mom and aunt share the cost.  The attendants cost $10 an hour. Each.  No Medicare.  Neither is eligible for Medicaid.  It’s not that either is rich.  It’s just that they fall into the category most almost middle class folks their age do.  They worked hard to build a tiny nest egg they have to burn up after a certain age. 

Now even though they have to pay someone to come in and get them out of bed , bathe and feed them, my mom and aunt can’t even depend on this.  One lady in particular calls out minutes before she is supposed to start.  Lately she has gotten better and calls out the night before.  Usually this is for a Sunday morning meaning the ladies sometimes can’t go to church.  I was there once for the no-show which was  a lucky situation.  The home attendant for Mom showed up but not the one for my aunt.  However, Mom’s help was only supposed to be there for an hour then had to go to another job.  It was a good thing I was there.  I was able to keep them company until a substitute arrived.

There have been folks who no-showed without even calling.

Now this past weekend (9/28) one of the weekend ladies quit on the morning she was supposed to take my mother and aunt to church.

JOURNAL ENTRY 34

I am writing this while I am on family leave in Florida.

 

This is one of my routine visits I take during the year for Mom and I connected this visit with my aunt’s birthday.   I am sure I would have gone to Florida anyway, but at least I made it official as Mom had a doctor’s appointment on the same day. I only stayed down there one whole week.

Mom’s cholesterol was again high (267) and the doctor put her on a medication.  Normally I am against medications but for this one (Colesterpol) I was told that there were few side effects.  I checked online and I saw that most of the side effects were dealing with constipation, and other stomach issues.  I will of course monitor from New York.  I personally doubt if she even takes this stuff.  Otherwise she seemed healthy for an 87 year old lady with limited mobility.

That’s what I keep reminding myself whenever I speak to her.  She is actually 86 years old.  She occasionally will walk and on occasion will exercise.  I do not pressure her. I do encourage her though.  At 86 what’s going to happen?  She has lived.

Journal Entry 33. I feel TRAPPED

A few nights ago I woke up about 3 in the morning.  I do that on occasion.    I turned on the television and turned off the news and put on NGO, the National Geographic station.  Normally the television being ON helps me to get back to sleep.  That and sex.

NGO ended up being the choice because I love programs that deal with information.  My favorite stations are Investigation Discovery, History and TruTV.  I recently discovered NGO and it plays clearly on my digital cable box so I put it on.    The program playing at that time was something about undercover people taking photos of farms.  They were hired as farm workers but they were taking pictures of animals being abused.  I faded in and out (mostly in) but the bottom line ended up being that some employees were arrested for abusing animals and farmers were pissed about the undercover reporting.  The farmers in multiple states helped get laws passed that made it illegal to work undercover at a farm.(see link).  That was the scary part. 

http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/campaigns/factory_farming/fact-sheets/ag_gag.html#id=album-185&num=content-3312


In a lot of cases these undercover animal rights advocates also uncovered situations where animals were sick and were not supposed to be sold to the public.  If a cow is unable to walk the law states it cannot be killed and placed for human consumption.  So these animal rights advocates in a mission to capture animal abuse were also able to blow the whistle on farmers selling bad food to the public.  In the case of cows the danger is selling meat contaminated with e-coli or even mad cow disease.  So reading that there are states that actually passed a law prohibiting undercover work on farms freaked me out.  The law bans the taking of photography without the owners consent.  My guess would be that the purpose of this law would be to ensure the farmer continues to make money.  If the public not only saw the abuse of animals but the production of sickly animals for human consumption they might be convinced to go vegetarian.  Profits over people.



If you are for animal rights you would be disturbed over the images of chickens getting their necks wrung and cows getting abused while giving milk.  While hard to take hearing about contaminated food nearly made me sick.

Now aside from sharing the information how do I use the information?  I can't farm or grow my own plants so am I doomed?
  I can easily say I will go vegan but how? 
My new homework assignment.

Journal entry 32

I learned last night (night of August 15) in Florida that the fire department had to be called yesterday morning. I was told Mom started screaming a little after 5.  She thought someone was in the room touching her hand. The fire department arrived and got Maureen who was a few doors down.  Thankfully nobody else was in the house so Mom had an apparent bad dream.

It seems like a nightmare but I am keeping my eyes on this.    Dad started having apparent bad dreams just before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.  He would wake up near the same time in the morning thinking the apartment was robbed.

Mom does have a history of this though.  I remember years ago she had a dream while I just happened to be in her room.  She stirred and looked at me then screamed.  My hair stood on my head.   She immediately recognized me though and everything was ok.  In my aunt's house it is completely dark in Mom's room.  They have installed a night light.

FAMILY LEAVE and other helpful advice

I may have posted this before in an earlier post but it won't hurt to post it again.  Be familiar with the Family Leave Act, especially  if you have elderly parents you are caring for.  I was totally unaware of my rights under this act. 

A lot of people, particularly nowadays frown on unions.  My Union (Local 1917) saved my job.  There were a few unfair practices going on at my job and the Union helped me.

Today wasn't a bad day.  Mom was in good health and I got some rest.  I did some reflecting today though.

I have been a caregiver officially since roughly 2000 when I decided to move back with my Dad.  I was concerned he wasn't eating and taking care of himself.  I was living in a studio in Harlem at the time and my aunt suggested that I move back with him.  I was visiting him a couple of times a week anyway.  At the very least it would save me money.

Late 2007 he started showing signs of dementia.  Mid-2008 he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.

I started having problems with work.  Legal problems I won't get into in this particular post, but trust me I will discuss it because if even one person reads this, my story could help you, especially if you are a caregiver.  If only one person reads this particular post this story may help you as well.  Support groups are fine but when it comes to caregiving and especially caring for someone with dementia and Alzheimer's TRY to have an outline for a FEW possible plans.  Most of the time you are on your own with your mission.  My point:  Soon after Dad had his diagnosis I was facing serious problems at work.  If not for my Union I would have lost my job to illegal behavior from my job.  They were actively and aggressively  pursuing my termination.  At the same time I was faced with the task of being the sole person to care for my father.  He wasn't to the point of wandering in the street...yet, however I had great concerns about leaving him at home alone.  I thought it was time to find a new job.  IU was willing to leave my full time job with the federal government and get a part time gig.  The only concerns were getting a job with health benefits and the hours I would be there.  I reached out to a friend who was well connected in hopes that he would send me in the right direction. I wasn't necessarily looking for HIM to give me a job or hook me up, but I hoped he could point me in the right direction.  Instead I got a brief lecture from someone younger that me in the need to have a five year plan for the future.  "Really?", I thought.  Who can plan for five years with an Alzheimer's patient?  My friend had the best of intentions but he also was a married man with children.  His only concern was for them.  He didn't live alone with an elderly patient with a neurological disease.

My point (I guess) is, you will have well intentioned friends but the bottom line is YOU have to map out a flexible plan for the future.  I chose to try bartending.  I was ready to take the classes and move on.  I was also ready to move the both of us to Florida is absolutely necessary.

Thankfully, Dad improved to where I didn't have to worry as much when I went to work.  Well I didn't have to worry about part time employment as much.  There were other issue, but I didn't have to leave my full time job.  A couple of years later though the issue would resurface when Dad broke his arm.  Unfortunately though he passed away in the nursing home during his rehab.

I guess for now this is a rant.  I had a flashback to that conversation with a friend and I just wanted to rant a bit.  I guess the only real thing you get from my rant is, if you are in a situation where you are giving advice, be compassionate and be a good listener.  Try and see what the person you are listening to actually needs.

Thoughts for the future

The future scares me.  Growing sentiment, particularly by conservatives shows a trend towards selfishness.  I look at Florida and the misery.  Some of those people can't get health care.  I look at the state of health of senior citizens and I question if it is even worth staying alive until you are 80.  What good is it if you need someone helping you wipe your behind?  If I have to pay someone to get me out of bed is it worth it?  To make matters worse the average person can't afford the care needed when they get to their golden years.  As with the homeless, the elderly are apparently not worth public care.  Is it worth it to get old in the United States?

Journal entry 31

I have been mentally tired the past few days and I am definitely not happy.   I am involved with too many things and it is hard to complete a focus much less complete a task.
July was dedicated to Mom.  I have spent a good deal of time with her this month.   I also spent a lot of time worrying about the situation in Florida concerning her.  She and my aunt are short one home attendant.   The second attendant has been looking for other work hopefully gaining health insurance.   It's difficult handling their affairs and even more difficult when you are doing it long distance.

Criminilzation of Homelessness

I came across a couple of interesting articles regarding homelessness and basically how it is being criminalized.  Article makse a pretty good point stating it is less expensive giving a person a place to stay along with certain social services as opposed to tossing them in jail.  You have to wonder the point in jailing someone just because they are poor.

http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2014/7/the-growing-criminalizationofhomelessness.html



http://nationalhomeless.org/issues/civil-rights/

Spoke to Mom early today (around 1:30).  She was alert and energetic.  I am thankful.  I call sometimes later and she sometimes dozes off before the call.  The home attendant is concerned about the sleepiness during the day.  Not that I am not concerned but she is 86 years old.  What is the worst that will happen?

Sad

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5617336

JOURNAL ENTRY 30

I am currently going through forms for my mother.  Specifically the living will, health surrogate and power of attorney.  I had the power of attorney form filled out for my father when he was alive but not the other two.  I THINK my mother has one of these forms completed but I can't be certain.  For anyone with parents it's my opinion that you have these forms filled out.  Nobody is promised tomorrow and at any time sickness or worse can happen.  Personally I think most people over the age of  30 should have these forms notarized and on file.  I say 30 because as we get older it can be harder discussing these issues.  It was easier talking to my mother about this stuff in 2000 than it is now.  And if there are multiple people of interest involved (spouses, children, parents, etc) you really should have that conversation early.

For me it is not as difficult because I am an only child and my parents were divorced.  However, with the hospitals even for me to make decisions I need information in writing and legal.  I am preparing the forms for Mom now and mine I think by the end of the year.  Trust me, it avoids hassles later.  I know I want to be cremated whenever I die.  This will be the only way to have my wishes honored.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/07/08/upshot/how-the-year-you-were-born-influences-your-politics.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

Journal Entry 29...a bit about me

For months I have been in a fog.  Between my mother, my job and my personal life I have not been able to focus on what I really think is important.  I call that lack of focus a fog.  I am coming out of it now.

I guess the source of the lack of focus was the lack of happiness.  I guess I should be happy.  I am employed and even though I personally feel I am grossly underpaid I get a decent salary and I have benefits and the all important health insurance.  However, I push immigration files all day.  I don't do anything all day that has any real meaning or value.  Some may think that pushing files for immigration purposed is a big deal since you are supposedly helping someone get into the country.  Since I work more with the deportation end of immigration I don't see that.  I have seen the files and most of the people I see deserve to be deported.  But I also have no passion for immigration.  It (like most things) is political and I don't care for the politics.  As I stated in the beginning of my blogs I have a passion for homeless issues and elder care.  I have had people very close to me touched by both issues.  And not for nothing I think it is more important IN THIS COUNTRY to take care of our our own before we assist anyone on the outside.

I have already spoken to Daisy, Mike and Lisa and interviewed them on their past situations.  Until my father passed away in 2011 he and I both had to deal with issues pertaining to senior citizens.  I dedicated this blog to talking about those issues, then got sidetracked.  I remained sidetracked until I saw this article from http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/20130816/after-year-underground-anchorage-homeless-advocate-must-find-new-digs

I am routinely disturbed by the number of people reduced to sleeping on the subways in New York City.  I can't imagine these people sleeping outdoors in Alaska.

I woud love to find a job where I would be assisting displaced people as well as the elderly on a national government level.  I have said before the homeless issue and the senior care issue are not things to be dealth with solely with private companies.  For starters these are people who were exploited enough.  Also, feeding and clothing people is something done for good will and not for profits.  Same with helping the elderly.  As people get older and  they don't have as much control over their faculties there should be government agencies to make sure they eat, have shelter and are not taken advantage of. 

This article made me want to examine the issue nation wide.  I want to explore this state by state.  I want to understand why it is so easy to sweep this under a rug.  Why is it so acceptable to ignore the problem?  Why is it easier to jail a person for sleeping on the street when it costs more to do so?

Kendrick Johnson

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/10/us/kendrick-johnson-anniversary/


Why am I posting this link?  Awareness.   We rally behind causes for many reasons and I want this to be one people rally behind because it is simply the right thing to do.  Kendrick Johnson died over very strange circumstances.  His body was reportedly found in his school gymnasium rolled up in a wrestling mat.  Strangely his death was originally ruled accidental.  According to the news his family had his body exhumed and had a second autopsy with an independent coroner and found the cause of death to be a blow to the head.  To this date to my knowledge there have been no arrests or even any suspects.  According to reports video that could shed some light in the case was tampered with.

I have seen people rally for results behind a case where a victim was a criminal or someone with a criminal history.  I have seen shooting victims who were committing a criminal act.  I have seen people rally for victims in another country.  I would like to see an outcry for this young man.  No parent should ever have to bury their child.  For Kendrick Johnson to die in a school with cameras and for their to be no answers as to how or why is inexcusable. 

I don't have any followers or subscribers that I know about.  According to my stats I have the random visitor.  I hope though that I can get people to at least read up on this case and ask questions regarding it.  This should end up a cold case.

JOURNAL ENTRY 28

I just got a disturbing message from Maureen in Florida.  Apparently my mother is not doing ANYTHING.  Maureen is recommending that I make my mother do Occupational and Physical Therapies.  She is also going back to not drinking water agfain.  She is generally healthy, but except for walking to the potty and to bed, she not moving.

My initial reaction is sadness.  Follow that with frustration.  I intend on talking to her when I get to Florida next week, God willing.  I also will discuss the Advance Directive, Living Will and Power of Attorney forms with her and hopefully she will help me fill them out.  I will not though push OT or PT on her.  I personally feel that she has made up in her mind that as long as she is healthy and in no immediate danger she will just be content and live out her days.  I honestly don't think my mother wants to be bothered with any rehabilitations.  If she can she will brush me off regarding everything.  I cannot say that I blame her.  Don't get me wrong,  I would love for her to at least get a little exercise and drink the water so she doesn't dehydrate.  I also have no idea what it's like to be a senior citizen.    Oe can assume a lot and trust me I think everyone in her life is well intentioned, but ultimately I won't know what it is like to be 86 years old until I 86.  Personally I never wanted to be that old. 

For now my agenda remains the same.  My main task is to keep my mother comfortable.  I will do my best to she that she is.

JOURNAL ENTRY 27-Routine check on Mom

I will be visiting Mom on July 2.  Nothing wrong.  I want to visit her but money is not right.  There are a number of things I need to take care of once I get down there.  1)  I need to at least get her started with Power of Attorney, living will and advance directive forms.  2)  We have to talk about home attendants in case Maureen happens to leave.  I also need to discuss future visits down there because I really can't afford to go down there that often even though I want to.

A good link regarding home care for seniors

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/paying-for-home-care-155405.htm

The New Stop and Frisk?

As most people know during the Michael Bloomberg years as mayor New York City had “Stop and Frisk”.  Cops would randomly approach people, from what news reports revealed were predominantly ether Black  or Hispanic.   The courts found that practice the way it was unconstitutional and current mayor Bill DeBlasio discontinued it.  I am finding out now that the city is finding new ways to satisfy their fetish of incarcerating Black and Hispanics.

First let me state that I was never fully against the Stop and Frisk procedure.  I personally think that in the Black and Hispanic community we tend to be soft on crime and far too many people of color under the age of 30 are getting shot.  However the police were  not “randomly” stopping the right individuals and people were being jailed for having marijuana in their pockets.  Evidently it was a racist tool to just harass and incarcerate.

If that wasn’t bad enough now I am finding out that cops are arresting people for asking for a swipe on the train.  A friend first told me about that two weeks ago when he spent time in jail for asking for a swipe at a subway station.   I though he was mistaken.  Maybe he did something else in addition.  However, two days ago I went down the steps at Chambers Street in time to see two plain clothed officers walking two young men out of the station in handcuffs.  I assumed they hopped the turnstile until I went towards the platform and two kids on the stairwell were looking at the turnstile and saying the kids were only asking for a swipe.

Talk  about desperate.

In addition, I have a friend who works as a bus driver for MTA.  He tells me that the cops are cracking down on fare evaders on the bus.  Folks who jump on the bus through the back door or ride without a ticket on the Select Bus Service are finding themselves face to face with the transit police.  But what surprised me is that even people who tell the driver they have no money and are allowed on the bus are getting arrested. 

At the very least tell people that you cannot ride the system unless you use your own money.

NYPD Cop allegedly shoves kid through a window

http://nydn.us/1jERVwz

I feel badly this teenager went through this with the New York City Police Department...however I think he is the wrong person to use against a racist department. 

Based on news reports this child was involved in a fight over cigarettes and allegedly assaulted somebody.  The police supposedly became involved and the child became belligerent when cops instructed him to be quiet.     The boy allegedly mouthed off at the police and that earned him a shove which he ended up through a window with multiple serious injuries.

I think the family should seek damages against the police and specifically the officer involved.  However I don't like rallying for a bad example.  I was taught as a child that  when instructed by cops to be quiet I was to comply.  Primarily because during the 70s (even now) police had a reputation for killing black boys..  It simply wasn't worth it to antagonize a cop in New York City.  Granted you still faced abuse but why add fuel to the fire. 

In this case  you can argue the kid got what he deserved and should be glad he is still alive and not shot (see RaMarley Graham who was shot for no reason in his own home...http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/02/02/police-shoot-and-kill-18-year-old-inside-bathroom-of-bronx-home/ )..  I guess I would prefer rallying behind kids who have clean records and weren't doing anything at the time of the confrontation.  I am tired of rallying behind kids shot by the cops while havin a weapon in their hands.  Or in the middle of a robbery.  It just seems like  we, are throwing a lot of our resources behind people  who might be menaces by our own definition.

JOURNAL ENTRY #26: Time off?

I'm back.

I didn't take time off or anything like that.  It just happened.  I attribute the lapse in writing to stress and a lack of focus.  I mean I did post a few links to articles I think can be helpful but that's it.

The past few months have been a blur.  My main focus still remains Mom and as of this writing she is still doing fairly well in Florida.  She had a health scare a few weeks ago due to dehydration but that was taken care of and she seems to be doing ok.

My secondary focus is still the job.  It's not horrible.  There are no more issues (knock on wood) regarding caring for my parents.  I mean it is not a place I really want to be and if I won the powerball today it is safe to say that I would be happily unemployed tomorrow.  But I do spend 15 hours a day with this job in some capacity.  Nearly a two hour commute each way, every day, plus the hours ON the job.  Add to the fact that I really don't do anything constructive and you have a major reason I dislike it so much.  I am currently doing research on jobs where I can either deal with homeless or elder care issues on a national level.  If I died tomorrow I would think that I wasted the past 18 years of my life just  pulling  files for the government.  . 

JOURNAL ENTRY 25: Mad Cow and me

When Mad Cow Disease was a major issue in Europe a few years ago I kept this tucked away in the back of my mind.  A few years ago there was controversy over allowing beef from certain European countries.   Now the problem is in our back yard.  I also remember reading about cutbacks to government agencies and I hope this new problem wasn't a result of some of those cutbacks.  In any event I decided to cut out beef from my diet forever.    The story claims the beef was manufactured between September 2013 and April of this year.  That is a LONG period to search back from.  How much beef was sold during that time ?  And normally that is not something people will save for months.   According to the dynamics of this disease it may be years before we find out about deaths attributed to this. 



http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-4000-pounds-beef-recalled-mad-cow-disease-20140613-story.html

HOMELESS THOUGHTS

 

I hate posting pictures like these.  Believe me, there IS more on my mind (besides apparently exploiting homeless people).  In fact a lot actually runs through my mind when I see people reduced to sleeping on the subway like this.  The first thought is usually " how is it that the country that is supposed to be the greatest and richest country on the planet has people out there living on the subway?"

The next thought is centered around how we could help people displaced like this, and when I realize that aside from an occasional handout we really can't do much then my thoughts move on to how much I hate politics.  Republicans and Democrats alike.  Conservatives generally more than anything.  I have argued long and hard that the current philosophy does not and cannot work.  Not everyone can hold down a job.    A lot of us can't make it on wages we currently earn.  There HAS to be a law addressing affordable wages. 

That leads to my next thought, which is how angry I am that people bought into the welfare reform years ago.  The have not's allowed jealousy to prevail and let them think that welfare recipients were all lazy and instead of creating jobs where people would clean parks, etc., we had them do manual labor for a tiny welfare check.  The bottom line today there are more documented homeless children than there were ten years ago and I know I see more homeless people of all races today than I did during the 1990s.  Someone suckered the American people into endorsing an ideal that only benefitted a small percentage.   Furthermore, the same cruel reform that was implemented ended up hurting folks during the recession where millions lost their homes. 

Even now my thoughts are scattered, but it centers around anger and anger directed at greed and insensitivity.

 

As if Alzheimer's Disease wasn't enugh to worry about

Sadly, this article helped make me get off beef today.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/06/13/mad-cow-beef-recall/10415299/

More insanity

http://www.npr.org/2014/05/19/312158516/increasing-court-fees-punish-the-poor

Crazy

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2014/06/12/3448105/mother-dies-jail-cell-fines/

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/how-moving-in-with-family-affects-medicaid-168732.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20May%2028,%202014

Quitting Your Job to Care For Your Elderly Parent - AgingCare.com

Quitting Your Job to Care For Your Elderly Parent - AgingCare.com

Good link 7

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/things-not-to-say-to-a-caregiver-152083.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20March%2026,%202014

Good link 6: Medicaid and your house

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/can-medicaid-take-your-house-147803.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20March%2026,%202014

A good link 5

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/How-to-prevent-5-common-kinds-of-elder-abuse-127186.htm

A good link 4

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/Long-distance-caregivers-can-check-for-signs-of-abuse-from-afar-132482.htm

A good link 3

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/3-20-14-smoothies-for-senior-nutrition/

A good link 2

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/2013-01-09-habits-for-happy-caregivers/

A good link 1

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/3-17-14-mentally-prepare-for-retirement/

Masked gunmen terrorize employees, customers during Publix robbery

I am in Florida this week.  Mom has a couple of doctors appointments so I made this routine visit.  A news article that caught my attention was this one.  my first reaction was to ask myself "who the **** robs a grocery store at gunpoint.  Then I realized I am in Florida.  They rob sandwich stores at gunpoint.  Last year a couple of thugs robbed a sandwich store delivery man who couldn't have had more than $50.  There is more money in Publix but it is still a pathetically senseless crime.

Masked gunmen terrorize employees, customers during Publix robbery

President Obama is fighting to have the minimum wage increased.  It will never happen.  Republicans are already arguing that it will eliminate jobs, which they might.  However in the meantime you have more folks joining the ranks of the homeless because they are either unemployed or under-employed.  Robberies like this in Florida are not new.  The locals apparently got bored with home invasions.  I always go back to the welfare reform act. Now you have more desperate people.  Face it, you have to be desperate to violently rob for such a small amount of money.  To rob someone is already an act of desperation, but to rob like that for so little is senseless.

Information on Stress

http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php

Journal Entry 24

Every so often I think about leaving my job.  Usually it's after having some negative dealing with some supervisor.   I work for the federal government and normally the supervisors they hire are less than qualified for the job.    Unfortunately the majority are black females lacking in knowledge and social skills.  As a black male I take no pleasure in saying this. From working for them in the 18 years I have been there I have only experienced drama and favoritism from them.  But for today they are not my focus.

Normally I get bothered by them and being that I ONLY want to go to work, do my job and go home I find my experiences bad and I think about quitting.   Add to the mix the fact that mentally I am under a lot of stress,  particularly over the past six years it has not been pleasant.   Yesterday I felt something different.

I work in lower Manhattan.  I live in the Bronx.     My commute to work is on average about four hours a day.    I really thought about this after I met casually with my second line supervisor and she got on me about being late.  I thought about it deeply and it's not a thing about me not getting up on time or leaving my house late.  I have been on the express bus at 7:20 and gotten to work at 9:30.  Not even leaving the house at 7:20.  On the bus at that time and got to work a half hour late.  I knew this for a while,  however last night on my way home I realized it wasn't much better.  I left work around 6:35 and got to my door at 8:15.  No traffic delays.  Over the weekend I was in Philadelphia and took AMTRAK to New York..  The train left Philly at 7:20 and arrived in New York at 8:50. 

The point of the story is I am wasting my life at  a job where I do nothing of substance or importance and they are only concerned about me showing up on time.  That and I live in a horrible city where it can take me over two hours to get from one borough to another. 

I thought about it for a while.  Do I want to leave my apartment at 7 in the morning to get to work hopefully by 9 only to arrive home that evening no earlier than 8:30?    I realized how unhealthy that is.    Gotta think about it.   At 8:30 (the earliest) I still have to eat dinner,  probably at 9. And go to be.  Its never a good idea to go to bed right after you eat but who can function on five hours of sleep a day constantly?  Logical move, the city and the job are not going to change.   I have to.  Two hour commutes to work don't make sense either.   Neither does working for a job that only cares about being on time.    Time to seriously look for something new...preferably out of New York City.

Leaving would be with mixed blessings.   I actually like that second line supervisor.    Unlike other African American female supervisors I have had in the past she is not shallow or filled with drama.  I could even tell she didn't even want to deal with my tardy issue but someone anal on the job brought it to her.  Technically they are right.  But  it just means it's time to move on.  As I write this my commute has already been a full hour and I am not even in Midtown.   So I know its not me.  I have been on this bus since 7:10, leaving the apartment at 7:05. 

Crazy

SB 1062 conrtroversy

If this law passes it would be a tragedy.  I rank this with the gay marriage issue and abortion.  Whether you are for gay marriages or against them or if you are pro-abortion or pro-life the ISSUE is your right to do as you please.  In respect to this issue going down in Arizona before people support that law keep in mind that if it passes first people targeted.  Someone will eventually word a law that will target people of color.  You are naive to think otherwise. Once you open the door it's hard to close it.    The two reasons I support abortions even though I think they are wrong is:

1.  A person does have the right to do what they want to their own body.
2.  If they win with abortion someone will think of a law to stop you from doing whatever THEY personally don't want you to do.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/politics/articles/20140224brewer-pressed-veto-sb.html

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/new-surgery-for-parkinsons-alzheimers-165829.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20February%2022,%202014

Ray Rice knocked fiancee unconscious, police say

Ravens' Rice knocked fiancee unconscious, police say



The latest in popular news has to do with Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice allegedly knocking his fiancee out at a casino in Atlantic City.  As I did years ago when Chris Brown supposedly slugged then girlfriend Rhianna, I have no opinion yet.  Even though it's unpopular to not jump to an opinion I choose not to.  Yeah, I DON'T have all the facts.  According to various news sources both Rice and his girlfriend were arrested for assaulting each other.  For now that is good enough for me.

I have always been of the belief that being a female should not exempt you from getting hit by a man.  I have never felt that a guy should brutalize a woman, but if he has to defend himself, then so be it.  I have no idea of the circumstances leading up to Rice's female friend being unconscious. 

I was raised in the 70s to believe that a man should "never hit a woman".  Since that time the female population as a whole have gotten more bold and more violent.  I have seen women assault men.  From the 70s until now women are more equal to men.  Especially more than they were back in the 60s.  So my question is if women are supposed to be equal to men why is that not the case when a woman starts a physical altercation with a guy?

Once again I am just speaking in general.  I have no information that tells me Rice's fiancee struck Rice, however if she did strike her boyfriend first why should she not get hit back?  I often worry that the rules are extremely unfair. Dick and Jane are equal according to 21st century standards, however it's okay for Jane to hit Dick but not OK for Dick to hit Jane back...because Jane is a female.    So doesn't that mean Dick and Jane are not equal?  To ME, if Dick and Jane are considered equal, then Jane deserves what she gets if she strikes Dick first.   I no longer give the fairer sex a free pass and especially when it comes to physical altercations. 

Now if we eventually find out that Rice initiated contact with his girlfriend then he deserves the worst that the law has to offer.    For now I just can't go along with the politically correct opinion.  And I feel that a lot of folks are going with outdated values instead of taking each case on an individual basis. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not for men taking their aggressions out on women.  I am against an unbalanced justice system.  And I also think people shouldn't hit each other.  One shouldn't get special treatment.

JOURNAL ENTRY 23-Fatigue

Going through some mental fatigue issues.

I know the signs; if I think about too many things at one time I get sleepy.  About an hour ago I passed out.  It's not one of those things where I fall out in the street, however if I am sitting somewhere I will take a nap.  I will get tired and want to rest.  Yesterday I was walking up the steps and each time I thought of something different I got tired and slowed down.

As usual the primary thoughts are Florida related.  With Mom nothing major or specific.  Just the morbid control freak in me worrying as usual.  I was just put on to some new problem though.  The lady who cares for my mother let me know that the lady who cares for my aunt may quit because she wants more money.  As always with my curse I understand both sides of he issue.

A few ladies have worked in the house with mostly my aunt.    My aunt has great difficulty walking and needs constant assistance.  On one hand she does not need a LOT of assistance like other seniors who need to actually be fed, but she does need a lot of help because she can't even walk to the bathroom and now cannot even stand without help.  In my opinion if you work in the house for six hours, two of the hours have some hard work like getting her out of bed, bathing and just general moving her.  The other four hours are not really as difficult.  She is a pleasant lady with a strong personality.  She is on top of things and is not easy to take advantage of.  Even though you can get through a day reading she has had more than a few workers who are completely lazy.

She pays a nice amount of money to the agency for the ladies, something like $13 an hour.   The lady for my mother is a family friend and not with the agency and gets $9 an hour..  The main lady with my aunt gets the same.  The problem is the two of them know what my aunt spends on the agency.  They are doing her a favor now by working some of those hours (most of the agency girls left except for one).The lady for my aunt wants a dollar more an hour which she feels is fair because my aunt would spend more for the agency girl. I see her point.

Neither my aunt nor my mother get Medicaid and they pay for the help out of their own pockets.  They are FAR from wealthy and the paychecks come from their own savings.  They fall into that category of almost middle aged retired folks who own a home and small savings.     I can feel their pain.  On one hand America pushes you to live a long life while at the same time the government makes it difficult to afford that life.  During the 70s when the country was pushing for a long life by taking care of yourself, etc., we never considered the quality of that life and the cost.  Now more people are living to be 90 and 100 but their quality of life is poor. And paying for assistance is devastating.  So I fully understand how my aunt feels about paying more for assistance.

Ultimately the bottom line is...the non agency ladies are terrific and a lot better than the agency ladies.  Paying them the extra is at the very least, practical.

But I was already wondering the issue to myself and this makes it worse, do I want to live to be in my 80s?

JOURNAL ENTRY 22

I got my refund late last week.  I paid off my rent and a few bills.  Spent on a couple of items of pleasure for myself. This week I am going to use $300 of that money to file in Probate Court for my father's estate.    With the rest of the money I will try to save as much as I can after paying for my next trip to Florida.  Hopefully I can curb spending enough to go on a trip this year.  Like I said I wanna get to Atlanta or Toronto.  Let's make it happen.

JOURNAL ENTRY 21-If it ain't one thing...

Item 1:  I have to keep better check of my bank statements.  I got a call last week from my financial institution that my debit card was compromised.  Someone went tried to use my card at Walmart for $125.  The bank declined the charge and immediately contacted me.  Thankfully the charge was February 3 and I was in New York.  I checked online right after that and saw a charge at a Hess station.  According to the fraud unit someone swiped a card with my information.  They got $27.  I just got that back.  Thank God Mom does not have a debit card.

Item 2:  If I get my tax refund I will put money aside to go on a trip this year.  I need a break.  This year it may finally be Atlanta or Toronto.

From agingcare.com

http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/medicaid-spend-down-for-spouses-158628.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20February%205,%202014

NYR 2014

I just came across my new year's resolution from last year. Not very good.

I am coming up with my resolutions for 2014.   A little later I will share how will I did in 2013.

I am doing something different this year.   For 2014 I am only posting a portion of my resolutions.     There are s few changes I would like to make in my life I don't want to share.   It's fair to say that I am not happy with my way things are going and I have always believed that yoy are responsible for making the necessary changes in your life.  I will still write the resolutions but I will not publish them yet.

1.  Lose weight
2.  Juice
3.  Make myself less accessible to people
4.  Be in Florida five times this year
5.  Put myself into a better job situation
6.  Get to Chicago, Atlanta,  Memphis and Toronto
7.  Put out more information and especially regarding elder care, homelessness and feeding the hungry

Journal Entry 20-The View from my window February 3, 2014

I am really starting to listen to this guy, particularly when it comes to his theory on Alzheimer's Disease and Parkinson's.

JOURNAL ENTRY 19-Another name change

Before March there will be one final name change to this blog.  I can't even remember the name of this.

JOURNAL ENTRY 18-It sucks to be old

This pisses off my cousin but I would be content living to be just 60-65.  Not saying I would complain if I made it to 80 but I prefer 65.  I would rather die a healthy 65 than a decrepit 85.  Even though Dad was not suffering horribly he was still basically disabled.  He needed someone to accompany him everywhere.  He died at83.  Mom is 86 and can't go anywhere without assistance.  I don't want to ever HAVE to depend on someone to help me with anything much less have them have to wash my ass.  I see the trouble it is trying to have assistance for my mother and my aunt.   I don't want that.  And in the United States it doesn't seem like much is done to significantly help the elderly.  If I sign out at 65 I at least keep most of my independence. 

Bottom line...even though it shouldn't, .it sucks to be old.

David Simon on America as a Horror Show | Moyers & Company | BillMoyers.com

David Simon on America as a Horror Show | Moyers & Company | BillMoyers.com

No known relationship between Maryland mall shooter, victims, police chief says

I see no end to this type of violence unfortunately.  In fact I see it getting worse.  The ultra liberal will call for either tough gun laws or for no guns.  I think the problem runs deeper and we will never end it until we get to the root of the issue.  Meantime my heart goes out to the victims in this pointless shooting.





No known relationship between Maryland mall shooter, victims, police chief says

Journal Entry 17-Mental Burnout

January 24, 2014

Suffering through a mild mental burnout.  I can only attribute it to a combination of Florida worries plus my own health plus work.  It happens.   The Florida worries involve mom's health of course.  There are always issues regarding her health.  She doesn't want to walk much and she is generally immobile.  She routinely complains in the morning of pains yet she does nothing to keep the pain from coming.  Then there are the general concerns I have regarding my own health as well as job related issues.  Mentally I am tired.  I can use a huge break.

Journal entry 16-Grumpy Old man

I am on my way to work this morning on the express bus.  There are a couple of ladies behind me chatting.   In fact I have been on the bus for 45 minutes and they have been talking the entire time. They aren't doing anything wrong, however at the same time they are annoying the hell out of me.  Funny thing is you are not really allowed to talk on your cell phone on the express bus.  But you can talk to each other.   Actually there is no law stating that you can't talk on the phone though there is a sign in front of the bus so go figure.

In any case listening to these women  made me realize the subtle changes we go through as we get older.   Ten years ago I wouldn't care.  Today I want it quiet.   Or at least I don't wish to her THEIR voices.   I mentioned to my therapist some time ago that I get irritated easily these days and I stay irritated longer.  I am not sure if that is a gradual intolerance due to my age or if it's because of my personal situation.
Either way it looks like I am on my way to becoming a grumpier old man...at 49.

Journal Entry 15-Elder Care Paranoia

Been back almost two weeks and I am stressed.  It is my own paranoia though.  I am just expecting that phone call about Mom.  Just paranoia.

I was told today by my cousin that my Mom is going to have to get someone to take her to church on Sundays.  Currently Jackie,  the attendant for my aunt takes both my mother and my aunt to church.  Maureen is the main lady who helps my mother and has been assisting since October.  While I was in Florida I helped my mother in and out of the wheelchair and got her into the church.  After I left I was told Jackie would help.  I thought it was a bad idea.  One lady helping two wheelchair bound seniors was bound to be too much.  I figured that once or twice a month Maureen would assist.  Now I have to have that conversation with Mom.  It won't be too hard but I hate to disappoint her. In order for her go to church she is going to have to fork over close to $40 more dollars a week.  It's not the end of the world but to the person having to pay that and it already seems a lot to be paying $370 a week, to have to pay $400 is going to cause a problem. 

NAME CHANGE

This is the same blog .  I changes the title.  It was time for a change.  I am still not satisfied with the title though, but unfortunately a lot of titles are taken under BLOGGER.  I wanted something shorter and more catchy.  Give me a little time and I will come up with a shorter and more catchy title.  Most important it will be the last title change.