Every so often I think about leaving my job. Usually it's after having some negative dealing with some supervisor. I work for the federal government and normally the supervisors they hire are less than qualified for the job. Unfortunately the majority are black females lacking in knowledge and social skills. As a black male I take no pleasure in saying this. From working for them in the 18 years I have been there I have only experienced drama and favoritism from them. But for today they are not my focus.
Normally I get bothered by them and being that I ONLY want to go to work, do my job and go home I find my experiences bad and I think about quitting. Add to the mix the fact that mentally I am under a lot of stress, particularly over the past six years it has not been pleasant. Yesterday I felt something different.
I work in lower Manhattan. I live in the Bronx. My commute to work is on average about four hours a day. I really thought about this after I met casually with my second line supervisor and she got on me about being late. I thought about it deeply and it's not a thing about me not getting up on time or leaving my house late. I have been on the express bus at 7:20 and gotten to work at 9:30. Not even leaving the house at 7:20. On the bus at that time and got to work a half hour late. I knew this for a while, however last night on my way home I realized it wasn't much better. I left work around 6:35 and got to my door at 8:15. No traffic delays. Over the weekend I was in Philadelphia and took AMTRAK to New York.. The train left Philly at 7:20 and arrived in New York at 8:50.
The point of the story is I am wasting my life at a job where I do nothing of substance or importance and they are only concerned about me showing up on time. That and I live in a horrible city where it can take me over two hours to get from one borough to another.
I thought about it for a while. Do I want to leave my apartment at 7 in the morning to get to work hopefully by 9 only to arrive home that evening no earlier than 8:30? I realized how unhealthy that is. Gotta think about it. At 8:30 (the earliest) I still have to eat dinner, probably at 9. And go to be. Its never a good idea to go to bed right after you eat but who can function on five hours of sleep a day constantly? Logical move, the city and the job are not going to change. I have to. Two hour commutes to work don't make sense either. Neither does working for a job that only cares about being on time. Time to seriously look for something new...preferably out of New York City.
Leaving would be with mixed blessings. I actually like that second line supervisor. Unlike other African American female supervisors I have had in the past she is not shallow or filled with drama. I could even tell she didn't even want to deal with my tardy issue but someone anal on the job brought it to her. Technically they are right. But it just means it's time to move on. As I write this my commute has already been a full hour and I am not even in Midtown. So I know its not me. I have been on this bus since 7:10, leaving the apartment at 7:05.
Crazy
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