Saturday, March 31, 2018
Journal Entry 103: DECOMPRESSING
The dictionary lists the definition of decompress as "to release or reduce the physical pressure on something or to have the physical pressure released or reduced". Is also means 'to relax".
I learned from dealing with my father years ago that you need to take time to relax. I didn't do enough of that in 2007 and almost had a breakdown in 2008. To do this care-giving thing you have to acknowledge your tools and use them. From there you have to take time to decompress.
Even with Mom being in the nursing home I still have to prepare my apartment for her eventual arrival, get her paperwork together for Medicaid, visit her, try and keep up with her progress, go to work and keep up with my own life. And in visiting Mom I have to pay attention to things in the nursing home while observing Mom to see what she needs help with. There is more involved in my dealings with her and I am certain other people have a larger grocery list. This is why it is important that you take time to decompress.
During the week my day starts roughly around 6 in the morning. Between 7 and 9 I am commuting to work. From 9-6:30 I am physically at work. From 7 and 9 that evening I am in commute home, occasionally stopping to get groceries. Sometimes I may get home a little after 8. It is safe to say 9:00. From there I have to eat and prepare for my next day. I will go to bed somewhere between midnight and 1. In the four unaccounted hours I have to do what I can after I eat. This would include making calls or texts, personal stuff, cleaning, etc. Most of the time I just vegetate or decompress. I won't look at the phone. In fact my ringer stays off. I will text or IM you. I don't even write. I may play MLB-The Show. I have to do something to recharge my batteries. Saturdays and Sundays aren't much better except I don't have to go to a job I don't care for. There are down sides. I don't return many calls. If you don't text me I probably will not respond. I will take an occasional trip to Washington DC or Philadelphia for a day. It is how I keep sane though.
As I am writing this I am on AMTRAK going back to New York. I had to go to Florida to get clothes for my mother and tend to some other business for her. I always take the train back. It's relaxing.
I am ranting right now but I needed to let it be known the importance of taking time for yourself. Decompress.
Journal Entry 102: The Appeal
Just when I thought things were awful I got a call yesterday from the Appeals Board informing me they were ruling in my favor. Turns out Workman's Circle never submitted paper work regarding my mother's medical records. I called the Ombudsman back and let him know. I actually called him early that morning for assistance. He called me back mid-morning and about an hour after I hung up from him I got the good news.
According to the Appeal Rep the decision means my mother can stay until they submit paperwork. I called the head social worker Thursday and Friday and haven't heard back
In the meantime my quest to get Mom Medicaid is slowly coming to an end. I just need to get Mom's address changed.
According to the Appeal Rep the decision means my mother can stay until they submit paperwork. I called the head social worker Thursday and Friday and haven't heard back
In the meantime my quest to get Mom Medicaid is slowly coming to an end. I just need to get Mom's address changed.
Journal Entry 101 The Nursing Home Mess (Written 3/28)
So I get a call this evening (3/28/18) from the nursing home. They leave me a voice message and I find out they are set to discharge my mother Monday, April 1st. I am in Florida getting Mom’s clothes, trying to take care of the deed on the house and tending to social security matters. Now one of their representatives called yesterday and told me that her rehab ended as of March 30th. The lady spoke about billing the second insurance starting then if she has it. Workman’s Circle (the home) wanted me to sign papers but I told them I couldn’t. What pissed me off was this lady said she would just mail them and basically tried to dismiss me. She did follow the script and let me know I had the right to appeal and that I had 2-3 days to do so. This was all going very fast for me. Too fast.
She actually called about noon yesterday but I wasn’t in a position to accept the call. I figured I would just check my voice mail to se what they wanted. But she didn’t leave a message. She kept repeat dialing me until I picked up. A little like a collection agency. She was prepared to deal with me and brush me off. I wasn’t prepared for the shock.
I did contact the appeals place and spoke with a gentleman who took my information down and told me to expect some type of reply within the next few days. Then I got the call today. Once again, the call came close to noon and when I didn’t answer it was a rapid fire of repeat calls. I was inside the Social Security Office so I just turned my phone off. Again, no message. Workman’s Circle did call back during the evening while I was at the supermarket and they actually left a message this time.
So, what am I going to do?
Well I actually get back to New York on Sunday, which is Easter. I have no intentions of signing my mother out. I am not waiting for the appeal either. Tomorrow (Thursday) I am calling the Ombudsman in New York. After I speak with them I will contact the nursing home.
Mom was admitted to Workman’s Circle February 1st. She just got out of the hospital after dealing with a urinary tract infection and kidney stones. She wasn’t walking at all. This was supposed to be a rehab stint with a possibility of it being long term. With rehab though, Medicare covers the first 100 days. That’s a little over three months. I had plans on her being there the entire time.
Additionally, I never had a meeting with the team. When Mom was at Solaris in Florida a couple of weeks before her rehab ended I met with everyone who dealt with her. I saw her dietician, physical and occupational therapists. We assessed everything and had a somewhat flexible time frame. Aside from the admitting folks, I met with the social worker and I saw the physical therapist once. No team meeting. In fact, the social worker told me there would be an assessment meeting but failed to contact me before they actually had it. She contacted me the morning of. I was on my way to work and actually found out about the assessment after it was over. This means I was unable to express to them my expectations. I don’t know how she has been eating or walking or bathing or using the toilet or anything. I was told that the next assessment was to come in three months. Mom is supposed to come to my apartment after rehab is over. In fact, some of the nurses think she can’t feed herself so she has been feeding herself infrequently. The icing to this shadiness came last week when the social worker called me. She called Wednesday of last week and left a message telling me it was no emergency but she wanted me to call her back. I returned the call within minutes and she told me my mother was moved to another room. That is all she said. Nothing about the rehab being over.
I am hoping and praying that get somewhere with the appeal and the Ombudsman. I am still working on address changes so I can apply for Medicaid for Mom. If I refuse to sign off they may start billing her private. She can’t afford that. Always something.
She actually called about noon yesterday but I wasn’t in a position to accept the call. I figured I would just check my voice mail to se what they wanted. But she didn’t leave a message. She kept repeat dialing me until I picked up. A little like a collection agency. She was prepared to deal with me and brush me off. I wasn’t prepared for the shock.
I did contact the appeals place and spoke with a gentleman who took my information down and told me to expect some type of reply within the next few days. Then I got the call today. Once again, the call came close to noon and when I didn’t answer it was a rapid fire of repeat calls. I was inside the Social Security Office so I just turned my phone off. Again, no message. Workman’s Circle did call back during the evening while I was at the supermarket and they actually left a message this time.
So, what am I going to do?
Well I actually get back to New York on Sunday, which is Easter. I have no intentions of signing my mother out. I am not waiting for the appeal either. Tomorrow (Thursday) I am calling the Ombudsman in New York. After I speak with them I will contact the nursing home.
Mom was admitted to Workman’s Circle February 1st. She just got out of the hospital after dealing with a urinary tract infection and kidney stones. She wasn’t walking at all. This was supposed to be a rehab stint with a possibility of it being long term. With rehab though, Medicare covers the first 100 days. That’s a little over three months. I had plans on her being there the entire time.
Additionally, I never had a meeting with the team. When Mom was at Solaris in Florida a couple of weeks before her rehab ended I met with everyone who dealt with her. I saw her dietician, physical and occupational therapists. We assessed everything and had a somewhat flexible time frame. Aside from the admitting folks, I met with the social worker and I saw the physical therapist once. No team meeting. In fact, the social worker told me there would be an assessment meeting but failed to contact me before they actually had it. She contacted me the morning of. I was on my way to work and actually found out about the assessment after it was over. This means I was unable to express to them my expectations. I don’t know how she has been eating or walking or bathing or using the toilet or anything. I was told that the next assessment was to come in three months. Mom is supposed to come to my apartment after rehab is over. In fact, some of the nurses think she can’t feed herself so she has been feeding herself infrequently. The icing to this shadiness came last week when the social worker called me. She called Wednesday of last week and left a message telling me it was no emergency but she wanted me to call her back. I returned the call within minutes and she told me my mother was moved to another room. That is all she said. Nothing about the rehab being over.
I am hoping and praying that get somewhere with the appeal and the Ombudsman. I am still working on address changes so I can apply for Medicaid for Mom. If I refuse to sign off they may start billing her private. She can’t afford that. Always something.
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