JOURNAL ENTRY 99 (Wakes, funerals and burials)

We had the wake for my aunt January 5th.  Even though she passed away on December 19th my cousin wanted to give family and friends the opportunity to come down to Daytona Beach.    The passing came so close to the holidays she figured it would be a nightmare trying to get affordable flights.  Plus people normally have plans for the Christmas holidays.    Folks are already paying a fortune for gifts and food, why add to the burden by having to not only fly during the holidays, but to find a hotel during that time.  Fast forward two weeks later and it didn’t exactly work out as planned.  A major storm hit the east coast on Friday and three key people were unable to come down.  The wake was still beautiful.  My aunt looked fantastic.  The undertaker did a spectacular job and my aunt truly looked as if she was sleeping.     I guess DVD tributes are common nowadays and we had a great presentation of old pictures of my aunt, family and friends.   It was not a depressing ceremony by any means.
The funeral the next morning went even smoother.  The Episcopal Church had a closed casket service which is something I believe in.  The focus was on the service and a few people (mostly family) said some very nice things regarding my aunt.  We had the repast after the service then came back home.  The burial is January 8th near Tampa. There will only be about seven of us.
My mother didn’t go to the wake or the funeral and she will not be going to the burial.  From the time my aunt passed away Mom had a difficult time accepting the death. She kept asking me if it was true.  She never talked about it at all.  In fact, she occasionally brought up my aunt to see if she ate and had to be reminded that her sister was no longer here.  Mom would get quiet.  On the day of the wake Ida tried to get Mom up to get her dressed and Mom refused.  Then she got quiet as if Ida wasn’t there.  I called the house and spoke to her and she SAID she was going to let Ida get her dressed.  She never budged and wouldn’t speak.  Ida suggested not forcing her to go.  I already made that decision. Still later while the family was at the house it finally sank into Mom’s head what was going on and she started to cry.  “I thought someone was trying to make a joke”, she said to me.  I told her that I wouldn’t make a joke like that.  She still didn’t go to the funeral the next day.
My aunt was 82 when she died. She was the youngest and Mom is the second oldest which means my mother knew her for 82 years.  They were the closest of the sisters.  I can only imagine the pain my aunt’s death must bring.  As for the burial Mom doesn’t do long car trips very well any more.  This one would have been at least two hours each way.  She would have been traumatized by the trip and I would have been traumatized by Mom.
Later this week HOPEFULLY I bring Mom back to New York