Fine lines...why I haven't blogged

12/28

I am in the library again at Ormond Beach.  I am still researching information for the nursing homes as well as taking a quick break..  Writing can be therapeutic. 

So far no real movement getting Mom placed in a nursing home in New York.  I have to work out some serious issues with Medicaid as well as the medical.  Other than that I am actually looking forward to bringing her home.  I won't have to worry about home attendant issues anymore.

Getting a home attendant is always a hard issue.  The obvious issue is bringing a stranger into your home.  There are plenty of stories about people stealing.  I never worried too much about that.  Mom doesn't have much at the house to steal.  Everyone does have to worry about the quality of care and this will vary from person to person.  Fr a number of reasons I cannot even begin to advise anyone on how to choose a person to care for your loved one.

During the last 11 years my aunt and my mother  dealt with a LOT of home aides.  A lot meaning I cannot count them all.  We had to deal with every issue you can think of.    We dealt with money issues, people not showing up, egos.  You name it and we dealt with it.  Most of them were helpful to some degree and because of that I won't get deep into specifics.

One lady would come and not even sit in the same room as my mother and aunt.  Another would come, smoke cigarettes outside and cough the whole time she was inside.   Some wouldn't wash their hands as often as they should have.  One lady brought her child to the house.  Another had no transportation and expected my aunt to reimburse her for a cab.

Most of those people worked privately.  We couldn't afford an agency  Agencies generally charge $14 an hour and up while private folks will generally work for $10 an hour.  Quite often there is no difference in the quality of care.  The big difference is that the agency gets a cut.

My issues were intent.  I have no faith in people.   Not all of the time but generally people do things to get paid and not to assist anyone.     Our society has been groomed to not do anything unless you can make a dollar off it.  Not all of the time.  I have a therapist.  He is pretty good and does get paid for his services.  But you can tell he is trying to assist.  I have nothing against a person getting paid for his craft.    I feel a certain way when you you are trying to get rich off it.  And not that I have a problem with a person getting rich, but I don't think people should become millionaires of children, the elderly, the hungry and the homeless.  With some of the people we hired you could tell they did it mostly for the money.

I am not going anywhere with this entry.  I guess I never really intended to.  If anyone is reading this I PRAY that you never need to use home attendants or have to go to a facility.  It is really bad when you have to depend on someone to care for you or a loved one.  Sad thing you rarely know ahead of time if that service would be needed.  I always say that I hope I live to be about 70 and die with the majority of my faculties.    What I have lived through with my mother (and to some degree my Dad) I don't want to live through it again.