Caregiver info

Courtesy Washington State Department of Social and Health Services



The following topics answer common questions and concerns adult children often have when caring for an aging parent.

• Talking with your parents about their future
• Caregiving basics- helping with personal care
• Other websites on caregiving
• The emotional challenges of caring for an aging parent
• When care services are needed

Talking with parents about their future

Talking with your parents about long-term care needs can be difficult. For some, even the idea of discussing the possible disability or dependence of their parent(s) is overwhelming. 
The following are some articles that can help.

• AARP offers a free on-line seminar Planning for the Care of Aging Parents.  One of the topics includes talking with your parents about long term care and preparing for change.  You can also read AARP’s booklet Prepare to Care – A Planning Guide for Families. The guide is designed to help you and other family members discuss and create a caregiving plan for an aging parent, other relative, close friend, or neighbor.
• The Do's and Don'ts of Communicating With Aging Parents
• Holding a Family Meeting

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Caregiving Basics- Helping with Personal Care

There are a variety of different tasks you may be helping with.
Physical and occupational therapists, home health aides, and nurses can teach you techniques that will make your job easier and make sure that you and the person you are helping aren’t injured.  Talk with your doctor about this.
It is always important to find out how the disease will impact care.  Learn more.

Caregiver Guides

The following are all booklets that include step-by-step instructions on the basics of providing care.

• Family Caregiver Handbook (PDF) Washington State Aging and Disability Services Administration or order a free, printed copy. 
• Caregiver Guide from Children of Aging Parents
• Caregiver Guide – National Institute on Aging
• How to Care: Your Eldercare Survival Guide
• Caregiver Manual from Strengthforcaring.com

Additional Resources

• Aging Parents: Helping When Health Fails, by V.L.Schmall and I. Isbess
• Growing Up and Growing Old, Caring For Our Parents, a video produced by Oregon Public Broadcasting with Oregon Senior and Disabled Services. To order go to www.opb.org or call 503/977-7792.
• Aging parents: 10 things to know for an emergency from the Mayo Clinic.
• Lotsa Helping Hands – “What can I do to help?” Create a free web site to help organize family and friends who want to help.

Helpful Gadgets or Assistive Devices

You will also want to know if there are any gadgets or assistive devices that can help the person remain as independent as possible. 
The following websites cover the different types of assistive technology and how to find them.

• National Public Website on Assistive Technology
• ABLEDATA

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Other websites on caregiving

• Children of Aging Parents (CAPS)
• Family Caregiver Alliance – National Center on Caregiving
• National Family Caregivers Association
• Caregiving.com

The Emotional Challenges of Caring for an Aging Parent

Many caregivers are adult children caring for their parents. There are many, many different emotions and reactions people having to this experience.   It can be or feel:

• Awkward when roles are reversed. 
• Uncomfortable when you find yourself feeding, bathing, or supervising a parent who once took care of you.
• Frustrating when parents don't listen to advice or accept help.

While you may have a loving relationship with your parents, other adult children find themselves caring for parents they never got along with well or having to deal with a variety of family dynamics.
These problems are very common. A support group, long-term care manager, or a family pastor, priest, or rabbi may be able to help you find ways to work things out with your parents. Individual counseling can also be helpful.
The website also has several links that can help.  Learn more about:

• The importance of self care
• Managing stress
• Caregiver support groups
• Respite care

Contact your local Family Caregiver Support Program to find resources in your community. 

Resources

• Coping with Caregiving, How to Manage Stress when Caring for Elderly Relatives, By Vicki Schmall, Pacific Northwest Extension Publication, Family Caregiver Support Program handout.
• Aging Parents: Helping When Health Fails, by V.L.Schmall and I. Isbess
• The Emotional Aspects of Caregiving (PDF Format)

Siblings and Caregiving

Caring for parents can also affect relationships between your brothers and sisters. For some, the experience of caring for parents can bring together siblings who have lost contact and strengthen family ties. For others, caring for parents can bring out old rivalries, or reinforce old communication problems.

Website Resources

• Caregiving and sibling relationships: challenges and opportunities

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When Care Services are Needed

This website has several links to help. Learn more about:

• What you need to know to get started finding care services.
• Care that can be provided in your parent’s home.
• Other residential care housing if they can no longer live at home.
• Legal planning and advance directives.
• Finding other benefits your parents may have.