JOURNAL ENTRY 14: Extended visit

I have been in Florida since December 10.  The trip is entirely for my mother. However, she didn't tell me about her eye doctor appointment until last week and that is for January 9, four days after I am supposed to leave.    I wasn't going to worry about it before but now I will stay for it.  Mom was diagnosed with cataracts a few years ago.  She should have had them removed but complicating things is the fact she also has paresis of the eye.  After she had chemotherapy ten years ago the eyes froze.  She can see and read but she has to turn her had to see things to her side because the eyes won't move.  She is 86 years old.  I will not force her to have this surgery.  It's easy to tell someone what they should do.  My eyes are normal.  I can only imagine the anxiety she must feel when she wonders if the surgery goes wrong if she will even be able to see.  If her vision was bad I would insist.  She can sign her checks and read her prayers so I am leaving her alone.  For now.

Journal entry 13-Observation

I just finished entry #12 and a white guy, about my age with  his son walked up to me where I am sitting (I am at a BOOKS-A-MILLION) and asked to use the electrical outlet next to the one charging my laptop.  He needed to charge his son's cell phone.   He plugged in in and is not even sitting next to it.  My point is, that takes trust.  For all he knows I could be one of those cell phone thieves.  I think of this when I see violent crimes on the news involving young men sharing my race.  I am not a soft looking guy, but at the same time I have had minimal bad dealings with people.  People don't generally grab their purses when I am around.  I like that.  But I wonder how much longer I will enjoy that luxury.

JOURNAL ENTRY 12 Black Man's Frustration part 1

I posted the following links for a reason.  For those reading who may not know, I am an African-American male, in my late 40s.  I consider it younger middle aged.  I live in New York but I travel to Florida frequently because my elderly mother and aunt reside there.    I have been in Florida for about three weeks on mixed family leave and annual leave to assist my mother.  I have always said that I would never WANT to stay in Florida. In the three weeks I have been here there seems to be a car accident and a violent crime every day.

The vehicle accidents seem to almost always be fatal and the crimes vary from home invasions to bank robberies to convenient store hold ups.  Every day.  If it's not a robbery then it's the occasional shooting for no apparent reason.

My point for bringing this up is that being African American from New York I know a little about racial profiling.  It's been reported about the STOP and FRISK program involving the New York Police Department and men of color where the mayor and the police commissioner justify stopping men of color in particular neighborhoods.  The philosophy is that in certain precincts where there is high crime the police will "randomly" stop a person.  Statistically though, in these neighborhoods most of the crimes involve people of color so naturally people, primarily Blacks and Hispanics are up in arms.  For me, considering Black on Black crime continues to be too high for me I don't have a big problem with STOP and FRISK with certain modifications.

In Florida there is no problem concerning STOP and FRISK because there is no reported use of the program.  However, as I stated earlier there seems to be a violent crime in Florida (specifically Central Florida) every day.  More disturbing for me is that a lot of these crimes are caught on video and  they mostly involve young Black men.


Cops looking for suspects in armed robbery at Maitland hotel

Hotel robbery 911 call: 'I need the police... I was just robbed'

Police investigate Orlando-area hotel and restaurant robbery spree

Not include in the links:

1.  A recent arrest were a 16 year old Black man was accused of breaking into a home at gunpoint.
2.  A Black kid in his teens allegedly shot a student in a high school.  The student survived but still has a bullet in him.

To be fair, it's not only happening n Florida.  in New Jersey four young Black males are facing federal car jacking charges and might get the death penalty when the victim got shot in the head, killing him.  I still blame our government...in part...for this growing trend.    In part.  I still think you are responsible for your own actions, however the conservative believe of "ending entitlements" have led to more violent criminal acts.  Recently Congress approved a budget that will cut unemployment benefits.  Republicans said that extending unemployment hurt peoples' chances of getting a job because they were no longer encouraged to look for work.  This comes after they voted to cut food stamps.  Understandably you have desperate people committing desperate acts, like robbing the local 7-11 and Circle K.    Two days ago (also not in the links) a guy in a Spiderman mask robbed a convenience store with a sword and left with $100.  The hotel robberies were also for small amounts of cash.    I don't steal or endorse robbing but to me, anything less that $100K is not worth risking going to prison over and if it involves pulling a gun on a person it is definitely not worth the effort.

People need to wake up.  This is only going to get worse.

The real controversy

http://m.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/12/the-real-em-duck-dynasty-em-scandal-phil-robertsons-comments-on-race/282538/

F**K Duck

http://m.nydailynews.com/1.1557327

The controversy regarding Phil Robertson's remarks continue.   I actually think he shouldn't have been suspended.   In fact I feel he should be allowed to say what he feels.   I am disappointed that most if the controversy is about the remarks made about homosexuality.  Robertson allegedly made comments about Blacks and slavery.   Supposedly he said something in reference to us being happy about it.   That's a far more damaging statement.   Black people didn't ask to be slaves and I am certain my ancestors didn't enjoy lynchings.  

Fortunately or unfortunately Robertson has a right to say whatever he wants.   Personally I prefer it that 5.  For one, I don't want people censoring me. Two, I would rather know what he is thinking and how many people agree with him or are empathetic towards him.

Man arrested in Palmer Twp. in fatal N.J. carjacking had robbed bank - Morning Call

I heard about this case a few days ago.  Four guys allegedly shoot a man to death in a car jacking.  The FBI is now in on it and I have heard they face federal charges and the possible death penalty.
For starters I hope they have the right people.
Next, I am still against the death penalty, but if they do have the right crooks this case is so bad I won't shed any tears if they actually get the death penalty.  The carjacking is bad enough, why shoot the guy?  Is a car worth someone's life?


Man arrested in Palmer Twp. in fatal N.J. carjacking had robbed bank - Morning Call

Journal Entry 11: Christmas reprieve

I am still in Daytona Beach.
I had a close call yesterday.  The home attendant for Mom recently told me she wanted more money.  The details were complicated but I understood her situation.  I also understood why Mom was against it even though she likes her aide.  Yesterday the attendant told me not to worry about it, that what she is making is fine for now.  I feel good for now, but eventually she is going to have to get extra money.  She is working on her own with no agency.  An agency will cost a lot more than what we are paying now.   Problem is Mom can't really afford to pay much more than she is currently paying.

Journal Entry 10...Desperate crimes

I am still in Daytona Beach.  So far the trip is restful.  I really have to get some work done in my remaining two weeks here. 
SO far I have managed to do some shopping for my mother and do a few things around the house.  I cooked some salmon for her which she loved.  I still have to take her to two doctor appointments, the bank and a few other places.  Plus I still have to get an elder attorney to the house to counsel her and my aunt on Medicaid.  I think I will take my time.  I was tired when I got down here.  No need to rush.
Christmas dinner is being divided between my cousin and me.  I have the ribs, the Cornish hen and the vegetables to cook.  My cousin cooks the ox tails, macaroni and cheese, Spanish rice and cake.  Now, I didn't want spare ribs on the menu.  Mom is struggling with her cholesterol and I didn't need the extra temptation.  I got voted down though.  So my job now is to give my mother as little of this stuff as possible.
Yes, I seem like a Scrooge but she is not very mobile.  She is not going to work off the Christmas fat so I have to be careful.  I love coming down to help her out this time of the year but it does get frustrating.

JOURNAL ENTRY 9: Bootleggers

Just had another posting taken down.  This was the last one I shared from YouTube featuring the cancer patient.  Mind you, I got it FROM YouTube and it allowed me to share.   If they ddn't want the video to go around why not privatize it?   The more I see things like this the more I love bootleggers.  SMH

Journal Entry 8: Fair wages 1

I am in Daytona Beach and as usual the local news is depressing every day.  There is usually a car crash or home invasion reported  daily.  Featured last night are folks who follow delivery trucks then steal Christmas gifts.  An additional feature was folks who lifted credit cards and/or numbers from unsuspecting victims.  That is usual, sadly.  This time though the thief allegedly took the stolen card and bought diapers.  Once the card was reported stolen and thus frozen, the thief paid for the diapers and baby stuff with food stamps.  I am hearing more about random robberies.  At least one or two a day.  And even though there really is no reason to steal I blame politicians and I blame us.  Somehow our elected officials have us convinced that common everyday people who are less fortunate just need to get off their butts and find jobs, most of them won’t even pay for our necessities.    Wake up world.  People need help.   If a company can charge what they want they should be forced to pay fair wages.  Yes, I am for a fair wage act.

For some homelessness starts with this

http://m.toledoblade.com/local/2013/12/13/43-000-in-Mich-40-000-Ohioansto-lose-unemployment-benefits.html

Journal entry 7-HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM

Happy 86th  birthday Mom

journal entry 6 (wtf)

I have been in Florida since Tuesday.   Every day I see a news report about either a car accident or a robbery.   Last night TWO guys robbed a 7-11at gunpoint.   Who does that?  Not that I condone robbery at all, what loser robs a convenient store at gunpoint?   For $500??
Earler this year a couple of idiots robbed a sandwich delivery guy and shot him.  The delivery guy had to have no more than $30

Smh

Journal entry 5 (getting old sucks)

I told Mom last night that she is going to have to pay her home aid more money.  Instead of $9 she will have to pay $10.  She didn't like that one bit. 
She pays on average about $390 a week.  Mom is worried she will now pay $500.
In all actuality Mom would pay about $420. 
Now even though she actually likes her aide Mom is willing to part with her to save money.  Problems with that are :
1.  We know this attendant and she does very good work.
2.  We are actually getting a bargain because we are not dealing with an agent.   With an agent we would also pay fees.
3.  With a new person it takes time to bond with them, if you even do bond with them.
4.  I actually feel for the lady.   I don't think $9 an hour is fair for them.  It doesn't mean I am happy about paying the extra

I am going to offer a possible solution to my mother.   Under no circumstance do I want a new person.  It would cost more financially as well as practically. I am going to try to convince my mother of that. 
With $10 an hour I will try and cap the hours at 40.  This way the most she would have to pay is $400 as opposed to $360.  No it's not great for her but this is one of those crimes with no victim and no offender.
If this doesn't work I'll have to let Mom do as she pleases.   She has to be made to understand that she cannot nickel and dime her care.   She definitely needs assistance and unfortunately she has to pay for it.

Scary

http://www.newsweek.com/good-luck-getting-psychiatric-care-224340

http://www.salon.com/2013/12/08/millennial_hardworking_homeless/

'Caregiving' it all: When taking care of mom and dad impacts work-life balance

'Caregiving' it all: When taking care of mom and dad impacts work-life balance

Investigation Continues into Inmate Death - Los Angeles Local News | FOX 11 LA KTTV

For what this man is accused of doing he gets no sympathy from me.  I cannot say I am glad he is dead but I do think that if he killed homeless people the world is less one asshole.


Investigation Continues into Inmate Death - Los Angeles Local News | FOX 11 LA KTTV

Journal entry 4-Probate ish

Probate issues suck.  I went from being simple administrator for Dad's estate to having to fill out probate papers amd paying a steep fee.

Journal entry 3-Florida Errands

When I get to Florida next week the first and most important piece of business once my cousin gets there will be to obtain an elder attorney.   In an earlier post I may have mentioned that an elder attorney can provide information and help get your elderly loved one on track with a will, a living will, power of attorney, etc.  In my mom's case I need to get information about Medicaid.  Each state is different with their laws.  In some cases I heqr Medicaid may be able to assist with home aides.  My mother and my aunt are paying a big chunk of money now for their assistance.   Hopefully this will help.

Utah couple fined $3,500 for bad web review

Even though this has nothing directly to do with elder care or homelessness this story is really worth following.  If you want to know about our rights and if our elected officials are selling us down the river the results of this case may give an answer.  Imagine not legally being able to complain about shotty service.



Utah couple fined $3,500 for bad web review

Customer Fined For Posting a Negative Review Online Ripoff Report to Res...

JOURNAL ENTRY #2 My new policy 11/30/2013

This is my second blog entry using my new format.

I received my first complaint and removal.  Earlier this month someone from an eldercare website removed an entry I posted.  Mind you I always give credit and attribution to my sources.  I do a lot of scanning the web to obtain and share information I feel may be useful to others.  People do not always have the time to surf the internet and do all that research work.  However it is their intellectual property and they can use it the way they want.

Having said that I will not share or even give reference to any site which does not share.  It is not enough for me to just post.  Valuable information for people in need should be available and as long as you give proper credit and don't try to make a profit off someone else's work we should pass it along.  So unfortunately if I come across something that the author declines permission to share  won't even read t any further and I won't attempt to connect anyone to their site.

JOURNAL ENTRY #1 11/30/2013

I said it before and I will say it again, it sucks to be old and/or disabled.  I know this is a rough thing to say if you write a blog that deals with the elderly but that's how I feel right now.

I am thinking about my aunt and my mother n Florida and their situation.  On one hand it is considered a blessing to reach your 70s and 80s.  God forbid though if you are not in the best shape physically or mentally.

Nursing care costs are astronomical.  You can pay over $80,000 to place a loved one in a nursing facility.  Keeping them at home is not a lot better ether.  Yeah, your loved one gets to stay in familiar surroundings but home aide agencies rape you in fees.  My aunt has to pay about $81 a day out of pocket for her assistance PLUS an additional amount to the agency.  This is not including food, diapers, gloves and other various items needed for her care.

My mother now pays a lady between $360-$420 per week for her care plus additional for diapers, etc.

For my aunt it is over $500 a week for the attendants alone.  Over $2000 a month and over $24K a year.  For my mother it is close to $16K a year.

For the both of them out of pocket.  They are not eligible for Medicaid, but at the same time they cannot afford this.  They also cannot go without the care.  It's not like they can just tell the ladies to go home.  They can no longer bathe themselves or cook.  My aunt needs help in walking.   And without assistance forget doctor visits.

Medicaid offers assistance but you have to be almost destitute.  Why is there no assistance for the middle classed elderly?

http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/09/health/alzheimer-biomarkers/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

http://billmoyers.com/2013/11/08/snap-cuts-mean-millions-could-go-hungry/

What You Need To Know Before This Week’s House Vote On Food Stamps

This was written before the vote but it explains some of the issues


What You Need To Know Before This Week’s House Vote On Food Stamps: Republicans are proposing big cuts. Here's what that would mean.

More on the SNAP cuts, courtesy www.thedailybeast.com

With House Win, GOP Pushes Food-Stamp Cuts to the Far Right

Republicans doubled their demand to $40 billion in SNAP reductions and won in a vote Thursday. Eleanor Clift on the hardliners’ move that would drop 3.5 million Americans from the rolls.

by Eleanor Clift  | September 20, 2013 5:45 AM EDT

One after another, a parade of Democrats went before the microphone, held up a flier with a picture on it: a grandmother in Arkansas, an unemployed mother in Ohio, a veteran, a cancer survivor, on and on, all faces of the hungry in America. Flustered by the theatrics, Republican Pete Sessions of Texas sought to clarify the GOP’s proposed $40 billion cut in food stamps, or SNAP, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, explaining that only able-bodied adults would be removed from the rolls if they’re not looking for work.

Kevork Djansezian/Getty

Democrat Jim McGovern countered that if his Republican colleague had trouble with the waivers that allow governors to exempt people from the work requirements associated with receiving government benefits, “you should talk to your governor.” Texas Gov. Rick Perry is among those who requested waivers for their states during the economic downturn because there were no jobs, and they weren’t going to let people go hungry. 

Those waivers are one of the reasons SNAP ballooned to cover some 47 million people. Almost half of them are children; two thirds of the adults are women. Those able-bodied men the Republicans have such a hard time helping have families, or they are working, but can’t make ends meet without assistance. If cuts of the magnitude the GOP is proposing go through, 3.5 million Americans would lose their benefits, including 170,000 veterans.

Virginia Rep. Gerry Connolly borrowed a quote from the McCarthy era, posing the question to his Republican colleagues, “Have you no decency?” Behind the scenes Thursday, Democrats were scrambling to see if they could get enough Republicans to defeat the bill. It passed 217-210, with only Republicans voting in favor, but the dirty little secret is that pass or fail, the next step in the process is a conference with the Senate, which passed a farm bill with a $5 billion cut in SNAP. “In some ways, it’s a show vote, an attempt by Republicans to move the target to the right,” says James Weill, the president of the Food Research and Action Center.

Sessions conceded as much, saying passage of the bill would “arm” Rep. Frank Lucas, the Oklahoma Republican who chairs the agriculture committee, when he goes into conference with the Senate to reconcile the two vastly different bills. Minnesota Democrat Collin Peterson, ranking member on the ag committee, said, “There’s no reason to pass this bill except to placate some people. The bill is going nowhere, so I don’t know what we’re doing. All this bill does is make it harder to pass a new farm bill; harder, not impossible.”

The backstory of the SNAP bill is as much about internal Republican Party dynamics as it is about Republicans versus Democrats. After the GOP failed to pass a farm bill this summer, the leadership separated farm subsidies from food stamps, breaking a historic bond that had benefited both rural and urban interests. The GOP then passed a stand-alone farm bill that significantly boosted crop subsidies, long derided by conservatives as wasteful, even as House Republicans doubled down on cuts to SNAP, from $20 billion to $40 billion.

Virginia Rep. Gerry Connolly borrowed a quote from the McCarthy era, posing the question to his Republican colleagues, “Have you no decency?”

The conservative National Review in an online editorial said the GOP’s focus on food stamps shows “a total tin ear to American politics,” pointing out that Mitt Romney lost because voters didn’t think he cared about average Americans. “And why are conservatives overlooking a far more egregious abuse of taxpayer dollars in the farm bill?”

McGovern complained that the bill members voted on Thursday was “written in Eric Cantor’s living room.” What he meant by that is the GOP leadership took their cues from Heritage Action, Club for Growth, and Americans for Prosperity, far-right groups driving the debate in a hyperpartisan political climate along with Fox News, which repeatedly aired news of a California surfer dude bragging that he was buying lobster and sushi with food stamps.

With or without these cuts, Congressional Budget Office Director Doug Elmendorf said enrollment in the program would be declining as the economy improves. SNAP is structured to expand during hard times, and historically the numbers come down, with the average amount of time a recipient spends on the program just nine months.

The food-stamp program has been a huge success, says Weill, historically attracting bipartisan support and picking up the slack in an economy where median family income, according to census data released this week, hasn’t budged in decades—and where the bottom 20 to 30 percent is losing ground. “It’s a victim of its own success, with Republicans saying it’s just too big, government is too large,” says Weill. He notes with a touch of irony that the most successful government programs today are food stamps and quantitative easing. You could say they’re both government handouts, but only when the least among us get them is there a political ruckus. 

As if to underscore the double standard, CNN reported on a Democratic congresswoman outing two GOP lawmakers for dining out on government subsidies, while voting to deny basic food assistance to the poor.

Lawmakers “Representing” Most of the Hungriest Counties Voted to Cut SNAP | Environmental Working Group

Lawmakers “Representing” Most of the Hungriest Counties Voted to Cut SNAP | Environmental Working Group

House votes to cut food stamps by $39 billion | TheHill

House votes to cut food stamps by $39 billion | TheHill

http://www.fadetoblank.org/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20October%2016,%202013

Ben Stein Called Communist on Fox News

Bill O'Reilly Slapped Around By Ben Stein!

Rambling: ENTITLEMENTS

With the government shutdown on the 9th day there have been talks about the debt ceiling.  Republicans have been talking about reforming entitlement programs in their negotiations.  I have been hearing about entitlement programs for a while and I wanted to learn exactly what they are, so I went online (naturally) and found something on the PBS website.  For those looking for an answer click the link:
http://www.pbs.org/fmc/book/11government3.htm

I thought entitlement programs were just welfare but I was wrong.  Not that I think ending welfare is the right thing to do either, but I realize most social and beneficial programs appear to be entitlement.  This scares me as it should you.

For starters I was dead set against welfare reform years ago.  I am for Americans working to earn their keep but ending welfare the way it was, wasn't the answer.  Similarly, cutting food stamps is the wrong way to go.  According to the PBS website, social security, Medicare and Medicaid take up the majority of funding when it comes to entitlement program spending.  As they are needed programs I don't see how twerking them will help anyone.  In fact I have often wondered what the government does with the money they supposedly save with these cuts.  I also wonder if the government's function is to help and to serve, how do they accomplish this function by making these type of cuts.

Elder rant

I got home from my appendectomy on September 19, the day after my aunt's birthday.  Mom now needed more care because of pain to her hip.  You see, when she fell she hit the wall but landed on her leg.  She had initial pain from that fall.  However as the days went along and she was less mobile more pain registered from the area.  A delayed pain.  PLUS she was constipated and had gas and that added to her pain.  Doctors may not believe in it but if you have gas it can creep into the strangest areas and hurt.  Being blocked up meant the gas she had couldn't escape.  She was in pain when she moved.  Then we needed a new home attendant because the usual lady had bronchitis.  The second lady got into a car accident.  A friend who lived a few doors away who had experience in being a home aid and was in need of a job stepped in and assisted.  A week off starches and on extra fiber, including Mirilax had her passing her bowels .  She still has pain which is managed with children's Motrin.  Her physician examined the hip and said the bones were aligned correctly.  It was just delayed pain from the fall plus a little arthritis.  Was glad to hear that.  Don't want her on medications

Appendicitis part 2

I realized while I was in Florida (I am back in New York now) that I am a horrible patient.    The doctors wanted me to take pain medication and I rarely did that.  Oral or through the IV.  I did walk after the surgery, but it was days before I could pass gas and even longer before I had a bowel movement.  I was naturally concerned, even though they said I was going to be ok.   The sticking point was the IV.  I think I was on a low dose of Morphine.  I know they gave that to me initially after the appendectomy.  I THINK that is what I was carrying around on the IV.  The staff showed me the Percocet and it was a day before I tried it.  I would take a shot of the pain med after I moved around.  The first few days after surgery are annoying when you try to get up or sit down.  You don't realize the muscles you casually use.  Other than that I was hard headed regarding the oral pain medicine.  To me the pain wasn't  excruciating.  I just wanted to be able to take a dump.

Appendicitis part 1

I am back in New York City.  I visited my mother early September for her fall and I end up having to go to the hospital.  On September 16 I had my appendix removed.

I felt funny on the 15th.  I had doing errands for Mom.   been running around a lot while I was in Florida.  On Sunday the 15th it felt like I had a combination of hunger pains and gas.  It was very annoying but not overwhelming.  I dealt with it.  I ate light and figured the gas would let up.  That night the pain moved slightly but not nearly enough.  On the 16th I took Mom to a doctor's appointment I THOUGHT she had only to find out the appointment was the next day.  When I got her back to the house I decided to go to Florida Memorial Hospital to check myself out.

You see, I am one of those freaks who run to Mayoclinic.com or WebMD whenever I feel odd.  I don't diagnose myself but I like to see the things associated with how I am feeling.  Granted the symptoms can list a hundred different ailments but at least I know if there is anything serious going on.  I saw where appendicitis may be one of the problems along with gall stones, kidney stones and gastritis.  Appendicitis seemed the most serious if I left it so I checked it out.  After blood tests, a urinalysis and a CAT scan the doctor told me it was my appendix.  I had to have surgery within 24 hours.  Thankfully I hadn't eaten since that morning at 10.  Around 6PM I had my surgery  The doctors told my the appendix had ruptured.  Thankfully I got there in time.  And I didn't have the symptoms more than two days.  The illness naturally kept me in Florida  an extra two weeks.  I was able to take care of Mom but I couldn't lift her or anything over 10 pounds. In fact I still am restricted.   I am still healing but thank God I have had no complications like bleeding or developing an abscess.  Life is funny sometimes.

Constipation in the Elderly - American Family Physician

A little lengthy but a good read




Constipation in the Elderly - American Family Physician

Short post

I realized years ago (and this may piss some of you off) that old age is to blame.   Not the individual.   That philosophy has helped me in dealing with Mom.  I don't get angry at her (or Dad when he was alive). Yes I get frustrated but not angry.

On my way

Laguardia Airport this morning

I knew it was going to be a bad day

I got the call at my desk around 10:30 this morning. Mom fell this morning doing her morning routine turning off the alarm and getting ready for the home attendant to arrive.   She must've fallen around 8:45.  A cousin who has the key was able to come over and let the attendant in then call 911.  Another cousin who works near me called me and gave me the news.

When I called the hospital at noon Mom was still in the emergency room.  I spoke to my aunt who said my Mom was awake and alert and not in any real pain. 

UPDATE

Mom was released from the hospital around 1.  I spoke to her a few minutes ago and she sounded a little concerned but for the most part, OK.  She has no idea how she fell which is very concerning.  She gets light headed at times, particularly during the mornings.  For now I don't know if she tripped on anything or if she just got light headed and lost balance.  I am scheduled to go out there September 13.  Had she remained in the hospital I would have made the trip for this weekend.  I think I will move the trip up, but not for this weekend.

For now I am a little relieved.  Very guarded though.

more on caregiver stress and burnout

This was an interesting article I found on helpguide's website.    It is so easy to  burnout while taking care of a loved one.  I am not physically in Florida helping with Mom but I speak to her on the phone on an average of twice a day and trust me it is stressful. 
from http://www.helpguide.org/elder/caregiver_stress_burnout.htm

Caregiver Stress & Burnout

Tips for Recharging and Finding Balance

The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, especially if you feel you have little control over the situation or you’re in over your head. If the stress of caregiving is left unchecked, it can take a toll on your health, relationships, and state of mind—eventually leading to burnout. When you’re burned out, it’s tough to do anything, let alone look after someone else. That’s why making time to rest, relax, and recharge isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Read on for tips on how to regain balance in your life.

Caregiver stress and burnout: What you need to know

Caring for a loved one can be very rewarding, but it also involves many stressors: changes in the family dynamic, household disruption, financial pressure, and the added workload. So is it any wonder that caregivers are some of the people most prone to burnout?
Caregiver stress can be particularly damaging, since it is typically a chronic, long-term challenge. You may face years or even decades of caregiving responsibilities. It can be particularly disheartening when there’s no hope that your family member will get better. Without adequate help and support, the stress of caregiving leaves you vulnerable to a wide range of physical and emotional problems, ranging from heart disease to depression.
When caregiver stress and burnout puts your own health at risk, it affects your ability to provide care. It hurts both you and the person you’re caring for. The key point is that caregivers need care too. Managing the stress levels in your life is just as important as making sure your family member gets to his doctor’s appointment or takes her medication on time.

Signs and symptoms of caregiver stress and burnout

Learning to recognize the signs of caregiver stress and burnout is the first step to dealing with the problem.

Common signs and symptoms of caregiver stress

Anxiety, depression, irritability Feeling tired and run down Difficulty sleeping Overreacting to minor nuisances New or worsening health problems

Trouble concentrating Feeling increasingly resentful Drinking, smoking, or eating more Neglecting responsibilities Cutting back on leisure activities

Common signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout

• You have much less energy than you used to
• It seems like you catch every cold or flu that’s going around
• You’re constantly exhausted, even after sleeping or taking a break
• You neglect your own needs, either because you’re too busy or you don’t care anymore
• Your life revolves around caregiving, but it gives you little satisfaction
• You have trouble relaxing, even when help is available
• You’re increasingly impatient and irritable with the person you’re caring for
• You feel helpless and hopeless

Once you burn out, caregiving is no longer a healthy option for either you or the person you’re caring for. So it’s important to watch for the warning signs of caregiver burnout and take action right away when you recognize the problem.

Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout tip 1: Ask for help

Taking on all of the responsibilities of caregiving without regular breaks or assistance is a surefire recipe for burnout. Don’t try to do it all alone. Look into respite care. Or enlist friends and family who live near you to run errands, bring a hot meal, or “baby-sit” the care receiver so you can take a well-deserved break.

Tips for getting the caregiving help you need

• Speak up. Don’t expect friends and family members to automatically know what you need or how you’re feeling. Be up front about what’s going on with you and the person you’re caring for. If you have concerns or thoughts about how to improve the situation, express them—even if you’re unsure how they’ll be received. Get a dialogue going.
• Spread the responsibility. Try to get as many family members involved as possible. Even someone who lives far away can help. You may also want to divide up caregiving tasks. One person can take care of medical responsibilities, another with finances and bills, and another with groceries and errands, for example. 
• Set up a regular check-in. Ask a family member, friend, or volunteer from your church or senior center to call you on a set basis (every day, weekly, or how ever often you think you need it). This person can help you spread status updates and coordinate with other family members.
• Say “yes” when someone offers assistance. Don’t be shy about accepting help. Let them feel good about supporting you. It’s smart to have a list ready of small tasks that others could easily take care of, such as picking up groceries or driving your loved one to an appointment.
• Be willing to relinquish some control. Delegating is one thing. Trying to control every aspect of care is another. People will be less likely to help if you micromanage, give orders, or insist on doing things your way.

Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout tip 2: Give yourself a break

As a busy caregiver, leisure time may seem like an impossible luxury. But you owe it to yourself—as well as to the person you’re caring for—to carve it into your schedule. Give yourself permission to rest and to do things that you enjoy on a daily basis. You will be a better caregiver for it.
There’s a difference between being busy and being productive. If you’re not regularly taking time-off to de-stress and recharge your batteries, you’ll end up getting less done in the long run. After a break, you should feel more energetic and focused, so you’ll quickly make up for your relaxation time.

• Set aside a minimum of 30 minutes every day for yourself. Do whatever you enjoy, whether it’s reading, working in the garden, tinkering in your workshop, knitting, playing with the dogs, or watching the game.
• Find ways to pamper yourself. Small luxuries can go a long way in relieving stress and boosting your spirits. Light candles and take a long bath. Ask your hubby for a back rub. Get a manicure. Buy fresh flowers for the house. Or whatever makes you feel special.
• Make yourself laugh. Laughter is an excellent antidote to stress—and a little goes a long way. Read a funny book, watch a comedy, or call a friend who makes you laugh. And whenever you can, try to find the humor in everyday situations.
• Get out of the house. Seek out friends and family to step in with caregiving so you can have some time away from the home.
• Visit with friends. If it is difficult to leave the house, invite friends over to visit with you over coffee, tea, or dinner. It’s important that you interact with others.

Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout tip 3: Practice acceptance

When faced with the unfairness of a loved one’s illness or the burden of caregiving, there’s often a need to make sense of the situation and ask “Why?” But you can spend a tremendous amount of energy dwelling on things you can’t change and for which there are no clear answers. And at the end of the day, you won’t feel any better.
Try to avoid the emotional trap of feeling sorry for yourself or searching for someone to blame. Focus instead on accepting the situation and looking for ways it can help you grown as a person. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

• Focus on the things you can control. You can’t wish your mother’s cancer away or force your brother to help out more. Rather than stressing out over things you can’t control, focus on the way you choose to react to problems.
• Find the silver lining. Think about the ways caregiving has made you stronger or how it’s brought you closer to person you’re taking care of or to other family members. Think about how caregiving allows you to give back and show your love.
• Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the situation. Talk to a friend or therapist about what you’re going through as a family caregiver.
• Avoid tunnel vision. Don’t let caregiving take over your whole life. It’s easier to accept a difficult situation when there are other areas of your life that are rewarding. Invest in things that give you meaning and purpose—whether it’s your family, church, a favorite hobby, or your career.

Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout tip 4: Take care of your health

Think of your body like a car. With the right fuel and proper maintenance, it will run reliably and well. Neglect its upkeep and it will start to give you trouble. Don’t add to the stress of your caregiving situation with avoidable health woes.

• Keep on top of your doctor visits. It’s easy to forget about your own health when you’re busy with a loved one’s care. Don’t skip check-ups or medical appointments. You need to be healthy in order to take good care of your family member.
• Exercise. When you’re stressed and tired, the last thing you feel like doing is exercising. But you’ll feel better afterwards. Exercise is a powerful stress reliever and mood enhancer. Aim for a minimum of 30 minutes on most days. When you exercise regularly, you’ll also find it boosts your energy level and helps you fight fatigue.
• Meditate. A daily relaxation or meditation practice can help you relieve stress and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation. Even a few minutes in the middle of an overwhelming day can help you feel more centered.
• Eat well. Nourish your body with fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains, beans, lean protein, and healthy fats such as nuts and olive oil. Unlike sugar and caffeine—which provide a quick pick-me-up and an even quicker crash—these foods will fuel you with steady energy.
• Don’t skimp on sleep. Cutting back on time in bed is counterproductive—at least if your goal is to get more done. Most people need more sleep than they think they do (8 hours is the norm). When you get less, your mood, energy, productivity, and ability to handle stress will suffer.

Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout tip 5: Join a support group

A caregiver support group is a great way to share your troubles and find people who are going through the same experiences that you are living each day. If you can't leave the house, many Internet groups are also available.
In most support groups, you'll talk about your problems and listen to others talk; you'll not only get help, but you'll also be able to help others. Most important, you'll find out that you're not alone. You’ll feel better knowing that other people are in the same situation, and their knowledge can be invaluable, especially if they’re caring for someone with the same illness as you are.

Local vs. Online Support Groups for Caregivers

Local support groups: People live near each other and meet in a given place each week or month. You get face-to-face contact and a chance to make new friends who live near you. The meetings get you out of the house, get you moving provide a social outlet, and reduce feelings of isolation. Meetings are at a set time. You will need to attend them regularly to get the full benefit of the group. Since the people in the support group are from your area, they'll be more familiar with local resources and issues.

Online support groups: People are from all over the world and have similar interests or problems. You meet online, through email lists, websites, message boards, or social media. You can get support without leaving your house, which is good for people with limited mobility or transportation problems. You can access the group whenever it's convenient for you or when you need help most. If your problem is very unusual—a rare disease, for example—there may not be enough people for a local group, but there will always be enough people online.

To find a community support group, check the yellow pages, ask your doctor or hospital, or call a local organization that deals with the health problem you would like to address in a support group. To find an Internet support group, visit the website of an organization dedicated to the problem.

The toughest state for getting food stamps

The toughest state for getting food stamps

Food-Aid Foolery

Food-Aid Foolery

FOOD STAMP UPDATE

I am considering applying for a job with VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA.  My godson's mother used to be a cook in one of their offices and her boyfriend is currently employed there.  I am interested in social work.  Problem is I have no experience and I do not have the bachelor's degree.  I could apply for some entry level position in the meantime.  My goal would be to get the degree in Sociology and move to a state where I can be comfortable and do some type of social work.  Right now I have good job security working for the government, however I do not have peace of mind.  This is not what I want to do.  It would be nice to get paid doing something I feel passionate about

ELDER CARE NEWS

http://www.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/Publications/22-277.pdf

ELDER CARE courtesy http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=393

Trying to get back on topic, I came across this piece.  I keep forgetting that even though I am in another state I am a caregiver for my mother.  I notice I am experiencing a few of these symptoms myself....

©Family Caregiver Alliance Fact Sheet : Caregiving and Depression Introduction Could the sadness, loneliness or anger you feel today be a warning sign of depression? It’s possible. It is not unusual for caregivers to develop mild or more serious depression as a result of the constant demands they face in providing care. Caregiving does not cause depression, nor will everyone who provides care experience the negative feelings that go with depression. But in an effort to provide the best possible care for a family member or friend, caregivers often sacrifice their own physical and emotional needs and the emotional and physical experiences involved with providing care can strain even the most capable person. The resulting feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion—and then guilt for having these feelings—can exact a heavy toll. Everyone has negative feelings that come and go over time, but when these feelings become more intense and leave caregivers totally drained of energy, crying frequently or easily angered by their loved one or other people, it may well be a warning sign of depression. Concerns about depression arise when the sadness and crying don’t go away or when those negative feelings are unrelenting. Unfortunately, feelings of depression are often seen as a sign of weakness rather than a sign that something is out of balance. Comments such as “snap out of it” or “it’s all in your head” are not helpful, and reflect a belief that mental health concerns are not real. Ignoring or denying your feelings will not make them go away. Early attention to symptoms of depression through exercise, a healthy diet, positive support of family and friends, or consultation with a trained health or mental health professional may help to prevent the development of a more serious depression over time. Symptoms of Depression People experience depression in different ways. Some may feel a general low-level sadness for months, while others suffer a more sudden and intense negative change in their outlook. The type and degree of symptoms vary by individual and can change over time. Consider these common symptoms of depression. Have you experienced any of the following for longer than two weeks? A change in eating habits resulting in unwanted weight gain or loss A change in sleep patterns—too much sleep or not enough Feeling tired all the time A loss of interest in people and/or activities that once brought you pleasure Becoming easily agitated or angered Feeling that nothing you do is good enough Thoughts of death or suicide, or attempting suicide Ongoing physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain. Special Caregiver Concerns What do lack of sleep, dementia and whether you are male or female have in common? Each can contribute in its own way to a caregiver’s increased risk for depression. Dementia and Care Researchers have found that a person who provides care for someone with dementia is twice as likely to suffer from depression as a person providing care for someone without dementia. The more severe the case of dementia such as that caused by Alzheimer’s disease, the more likely the caregiver is to experience depression. It is critical for caregivers, especially in these situations, to receive consistent and dependable support. Caring for a person with dementia can be all consuming. It is different from other types of caregiving. Not only do caregivers spend significantly more hours per week providing care, they report more employment problems, personal stress, mental and physical health problems, less time to do the things they enjoy, less time to spend with other family members, and more family conflict than nondementia caregivers. As stressful as the deterioration of a loved one’s mental and physical abilities may be for the caregiver, dealing with dementia-related behavior is an even bigger contributor to developing symptoms of depression. Dementia-related symptoms such as wandering, agitation, hoarding and embarrassing conduct makes every day challenging and makes it harder for a caregiver to get rest or assistance in providing care. Women experience depression at a higher rate than men. Women, primarily wives and daughters, provide the majority of caregiving. In the United States, approximately 12 million women experience clinical depression each year, at approximately twice the rate of men. A National Mental Health Association survey on the public’s attitude and beliefs about clinical depression found that more than one-half of women surveyed still believe it is "normal" for a woman to be depressed during menopause. The study also found that many women do not seek treatment for depression because they are embarrassed or in denial about being depressed. In fact, 41% of women surveyed cited embarrassment or shame as barriers to treatment. Men who are caregivers deal with depression differently. Men are less likely to admit to depression and doctors are less likely to diagnose depression in men. Men will more often “self treat” their depressive symptoms of anger, irritability or powerlessness with alcohol or overwork. Although male caregivers tend to be more willing than female caregivers to hire outside help for assistance with home care duties, they tend to have fewer friends to confide in or positive activities outside the home. The assumption that depressive symptoms are a sign of weakness can make it especially difficult for men to seek help. Lack of sleep contributes to depression. While sleep needs vary, most people need eight hours a day. Loss of sleep as a result of caring for a loved one can lead to serious depression. The important thing to remember is that even though you may not be able to get your loved one to rest throughout the night, you can arrange to get much needed sleep. Hiring a respite worker to be with your loved one while you take a nap or finding a care center or scheduling a stay over with another family member for a few nights are ways to keep your caregiving commitment while getting the sleep you need. Depression can persist after placement in a care facility. Making the decision to move a loved one to a care center is very stressful. While many caregivers are finally able to catch up on much needed rest, loneliness, guilt and monitoring the care a loved one receives in this new location can add new stress. Many caregivers feel depressed at the time of placement and some continue to feel depressed for a long time after. People assume that once caregiving is over, the stress from providing hands-on care will go away. Yet, researchers found that even three years after the death of a spouse with dementia, some former caregivers continued to experience depression and loneliness. In an effort to return their life to normal, former caregivers may need to seek out help for depression as well. What to Do If You Think You Have Depression Depression deserves to be treated with the same attention afforded any other illness, such as diabetes or high blood pressure. If you feel uncomfortable using the term depression, tell the professional that you are “feeling blue” or “feeling down.” The professional will get the message. The important thing is to seek help. Those with chronic illnesses also may suffer from depression. If you suspect this is the case with your loved one, look for an opportunity to share your concern with him or her. If they are reluctant to talk about it with you, encourage a trusted friend to talk with them or consider leaving a message for their doctor regarding your concern prior to their next appointment. How is Depression Treated? The first step to getting the best treatment for depression is to meet with a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker. At the same time, schedule a physical exam with your doctor. Certain medications, as well as some medical conditions such as viral infection, can cause the same symptoms as depression, and can be evaluated by your physician during an exam. The exam should include lab tests and an interview that tests for mental status to determine if speech, memory or thought patterns have been affected. Although it’s not unusual for a physician to prescribe antidepressant medication, medication alone may not be the most effective treatment for depression. The guidance of a mental health professional throughout your treatment is strongly recommended. The therapist or counselor will listen to your concerns, screen you for symptoms of depression and assist you in setting up an appropriate course of treatment. One way to find a professional is to ask a friend for the name of someone they know and trust. You may also find someone by asking your minister or rabbi, your doctor, or, if you are employed, you may check your employer’s health insurance provider list or EAP program. In addition, national organizations can provide contact information for mental health professionals in your community. (See “Finding a Professional in your Area” in this fact sheet.) It is important to trust and feel comfortable with the professional you see. It is not uncommon to request a free introductory phone or in-person meeting to help determine if the professional is the right match for your particular needs and style. It is appropriate to clarify what the cost will be, how much your insurance will pay and how many scheduled sessions you should expect to have with the mental health therapist. Any treatment should be evaluated regularly to ensure that it continues to contribute towards your improved health and growth. Questions to Expect in a Mental Health Exam for Depression Tell me why you think you may be experiencing depression. When did you first notice these symptoms? How long have you experienced them? How do they affect you? Are there things you don’t or can’t do anymore? Have you ever experienced these feelings before? If you have, did you receive treatment? What type?

How often do you use alcohol or drugs (both prescription and nonprescription) to help during the week?

Have you had any thoughts about death or considered suicide?

Do you have any family members who have experienced depression?

If so, did they receive treatment? What type?

Have you experienced any serious loss, difficult relationships, financial problems or other recent changes in your life?

Is there anything else you’d like to add to help me understand your situation better?

Treatment Options

Upon review of the physical and mental evaluation, a course of treatment will be recommended. Primary treatment options are psychotherapy (also referred to as mental health therapy) and antidepressant medication. These treatments are used alone or in combination with one another. (Electroconvulsive therapy or shock therapy is used for severe cases of depression and is recommended only when other approaches have not been effective.) The most frequent treatment for depressive symptoms that have progressed beyond the mild stage is antidepressant medication, which provides relatively quick symptom relief, in conjunction with ongoing psychotherapy, which offers new strategies for a more satisfying life. Following are the most common treatments used today:

Psychotherapy

• Cognitive & Behavioral Therapy – The therapist will focus on identifying and changing persistent, self-defeating thinking and behaviors. The ultimate goal is to help caregivers recognize and enjoy positive events in their lives and learn practical skills to deal with the problems they are facing.
• Interpersonal Therapy – The therapist helps the caregiver self-evaluate problems in their communication, or lack of communication, with other people. The caregiver will come to better understand his or her own communication style and learn how to improve relationships with others.
• Psychodynamic Therapy – Although sometimes used to treat depression, this therapy is thought to be less effective than the other two therapies already mentioned. Its goal is to surface deeply held conflicted feelings to better experience and understand them.

Medication and ECT Therapy

• Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) (Examples: Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil) – Medications that work by stabilizing levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter. Low levels of serotonin have been linked to depression. Fewer side effects than tricyclic medications.
• Tricyclics (Examples: Norpramin, Pamelor, Sinequan) – An earlier family of antidepressant drugs, tricyclics increase levels of neurotransmitters in the brain. May cause more side effects.
• Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors (MAOI) (Examples: Nardil, Parnate) – These therapies are not often used today. MAOIs are drugs that increase the level of neurotransmitters in the brain. They are most often used when other medication isn’t effective or tolerated.
• Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) – A brief pulse of electricity is delivered through electrodes on the scalp over a period of several days to produce changes in the brain function. ECT is used only for serious (possibly life-threatening) depression and when medication doesn’t work.

If drug therapy is recommended, a certain amount of trial and error is necessary to find the right type and dosage of medication for each individual and it may take several weeks before effects are felt. Good communication between patient and doctor is important. Older adults should be especially careful to watch for medication side effects caused from too high a dosage or interactions with other medications.

Complementary and Alternative Therapies

St. John’s wort. One of the most studied alternative treatments for depressive symptoms is St. John’s wort (Hypericum perforatum). It is an herb used extensively in the treatment of mild to moderate depression in Europe and is now undergoing studies in the United States. St. John's wort extract is sold “over the counter” in the U.S. as a nutritional supplement.

It is promoted as a "natural” way to improve mood, and as a treatment for mild to moderate depression. Researchers are studying it for possibly having fewer and less severe side effects than antidepressant drugs.

Yet, questions remain regarding whether St. John's wort really does what its promoters claim. For nonprescription drugs in the U.S. there are no established criteria for determining the amount of active ingredient a company puts in their product or what dose is right for a given person. The Food and Drug Administration issued a warning stating that St. John’s wort may affect the metabolic pathway used by many prescription drugs prescribed to treat a number of conditions, including heart disease, depression, and HIV infections. If you are taking St. John’s wort or considering its use, talk with your health care provider to ensure it will not interfere with any other treatment you are receiving.

Seasonal Affective Disorder. Caregivers who feel “the blues” when confined indoors or in response to winter’s gray days may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also referred to as “winter depression.” As seasons change, there is a shift in our biological internal clocks or circadian rhythms, partly in response to the changes in sunlight patterns. This can cause our biological clocks to be out of sync with our daily schedules. People with SAD have a difficult time adjusting to the shortage of sunlight in the winter months. SAD symptoms are most pronounced in January and February, when the days are shortest. SAD is often misdiagnosed as hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, infectious mononucleosis and other viral infections.

Phototherapy, using specially designed bright fluorescent lights, has been shown to reverse SAD’s depressive symptoms. Experts believe that the light therapy works by altering the levels of certain brain chemicals, specifically melatonin. Antidepressant medication along with other treatments, including exercise, may be helpful as well. If you experience mild depressive symptoms seasonally, experiment with increasing the light in your surroundings, using lamps or other sources. If the symptoms are strong enough to impair your day-to-day functioning, seek out a mental health professional with expertise in treating SAD.

Physical Exercise. Exercise has been found to reduce the effects of depression. Walking three times a week for 30 to 45 minutes has been linked to reducing or alleviating symptoms of depression. It is unknown whether physical activity prevents the onset of depression or just helps modify the effects. Arranging time for exercise is sometimes difficult for caregivers. It is often seen as a “value added” activity—something to do when everything else is done. You might consider adding it to your “to do” list, asking a friend to give you a “walk date” each week as a gift, or requesting that your doctor write a prescription for walking or joining an exercise class. All the research shows that for a healthier life, it makes good sense to make time for exercise.

Paying for Treatment

Private health insurance and Medicare will typically pay for some mental health care. It’s best to call the mental health professional directly to find out if they accept your insurance for payment. Health insurance providers will usually list mental health professionals in the same insurance material that lists health plan medical doctors. Medicare recipients will find the booklet titled, “Medicare and Your Mental Health Benefits” a helpful source of information. See the “Resources” section of this Fact Sheet to find out how to obtaina copy.

The “covered services” of the insurance plan will specify mental health coverage for inpatient (hospital, treatment center) and outpatient (professional’s office) care, how many visits are paid for, and at what rate of reimbursement. Employed caregivers may also have access to an Employee Assistance Program, where licensed professionals (usually psychologists and social workers) are available for confidential sessions to discuss personal or professional problems.

Caregivers without health insurance or who pay out of pocket for care will find that fees vary by professional, with psychiatrists charging at the higher end of the fee scale and psychologists and social workers offering their services at a more moderate rate. In some instances, a mental health center will apply a fee based on your ability to pay. In any case, find out what the fee is up front to avoid any misunderstandings later on.  

Strategies to Help Yourself

Depressive disorders can make one feel exhausted, helpless and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and may not accurately reflect the situation. The National Institute of Mental Health offers the following recommendations for dealing with depression:

• Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
• Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
• Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
• Participate in activities that may make you feel better, such as mild exercise, going to a movie or ballgame, or attending a religious, social or community event.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
• It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition—change jobs, get married or divorced—discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
• People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
• Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression. The negative thinking will be reduced as your depression responds to treatment.
• Let your family and friends help you.

Direct assistance in providing care for your loved one, such as respite care relief, as well as positive feedback from others, positive self-talk, and recreational activities are linked to lower levels of depression. Look for classes and support groups available through caregiver support organizations to help you learn or practice effective problem-solving and coping strategies needed for caregiving. For your health and the health of those around you, take some time to care for yourself.

Sources for online depression screening checklists:

National Mental Health Association depression screening checklist
depression-screening.org National Depression Screening Day websitewww.nmisp.org/depression.htm

Finding a Professional in your area:

Psychiatrist (MD): A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental illnesses, including substance abuse and addiction.

• American Psychiatric Association
  www.psych.org
  Provides free information on depression and referrals to psychiatrists in your area.

Psychologist (Ph.D.): Licensed to practice psychotherapy and has special training in psychological testing. Although referred to as “doctor,” a psychologist cannot prescribe medications.

• American Psychological Association
  www.apa.org
  (800) 964-2000Visit APA's website for more information about depression or call the toll-free number to be referred to a psychologist in your area.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker (L.C.S.W.): Has specialized training in human behavior, family behavior, psychology, and problem solving. Has a Master's degree in Social Work (M.S.W.) with two years of supervised postgraduate work providing clinical treatment.

• National Association of Social Workers
  www.naswdc.org
  (800) 638-8799
  Provides free information on depression and referrals to social workers in your area.

Note: Additional professionals may be licensed to practice psychotherapy in your state or county. Check with the local mental health department or hospital in your community for more information.

Other resources:

Medicare
www.medicare.gov
Call 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227) to request a copy of “Medicare and Your Mental Health Benefits.”
National Institute of Mental Health
www.nimh.nih.gov
(800) 421-4211
Provides free information on depression and other mental illnesses in English and Spanish.
Exercise Guide for Older Adults
Exercise and Your Health: A Personal Guide to Health and Fitness (Spanish)Exercise: A Guide for the National Institute on Aging (NIA). Includes a chapter on exercises to do at home (English). National Institute of Health. Available free of charge. (800) 222-2225 or www.nih.gov/nia

Websites

American Geriatrics Association
www.americangeriatrics.org/education/forum/alzcare.shtml
National Institute for Complimentary and Alternative Medicinenccam.nih.gov
National Institute of Mental Healthwww.nimh.nih.gov
National Alliance for the Mentally Illwww.nami.org
National Mental Health Associationwww.nmha.org
National Library of Medicinewww.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginformation.html

References

Gallagher-Thompson, Coon, Rivera, Powers and Zeiss. (1998). Family Caregiving: Stress, Coping and Intervention. Handbook of Clinical Geropsychology, Chapter 21, Plenum Press, New York.

National Institute of Mental Health (2001). Depression. Publication No. 00-3561, Bethesda, MD. National Institute of Mental Health (2001). Women Hold Up Half the Sky. Publication No. 01-460,7 Bethesda, MD.

Ory M., Hoffman R., Yee J., Tennstedt S. and Schultz R. (1999) Prevalence and Impact of Caregiving: A Detailed Comparison Between Dementia and Nondementia Caregivers. The Gerontologist Vol. 39, No 2 177-185

Schultz R., O’Brien A.T., Bookwala J., et al. (1995) Psychiatric and physical morbidity effects of dementia caregiving: prevalence, correlates and causes. Gerontologist. Vol. 35, 771-791.

Recommended Reading

The Caregiver Helpbook: Powerful Tools for Caregiving by Vicki Schmall, Marilyn Cleland and Marilyn Sturdevant. Published by Legacy Health System. Accompanies a class by the same name. Class information and the book are available by contacting Legacy Caregiver Services, 1015 NW 22^nd Ave., Ste. N300, Portland, OR 97210, (503) 413-7706.

Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal  by Beth Witrogen McLeod. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New York, NY.

Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Aging Parents, Third Edition: How to Help, How to Survive by Claire Berman. Published by Henry Holt and Company, Inc. 115 West 18th Street, New York, NY 10011, (212) 886-9200.

Resources

Family Caregiver Alliance785 Market Street, Suite 750
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 434-3388
(800) 445-8106
Web Site: www.caregiver.org
E-mail: info@caregiver.org

Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) seeks to improve the quality of life for caregivers through education, services, research and advocacy.

Through its National Center on Caregiving, FCA offers information on current social, public policy and caregiving issues and provides assistance in the development of public and private programs for caregivers.

For residents of the greater San Francisco Bay Area, FCA provides direct family support services for caregivers of those with Alzheimer's disease, stroke, head injury, Parkinson's and other debilitating disorders that strike adults.

Prepared by Family Caregiver Alliance in cooperation with California's Caregiver Resource Centers. Reviewed by Steven H. Zarit, Ph.D. Professor of Human Development and Assistant Director, Gerontology Center, Pennsylvania State University. Funded by the California Department of Mental Health and the Archstone Foundation. March 2002. © All rights reserved.

BILL O'REILLY COMMENTS

Sadly there is some truth to this.   First, I have to say I still think George Zimmerman is guilty.  No matter what his perspective Trayvon Martin deserves to be alive.  However Bill O'Reilly  no matter how crass or how offensive he may sound in this interview does offer some valid points and I can appreciate his honesty.  It beats having thousands of folks just agreeing with me when they feel otherwise.  And truth be told the image of young Black men was also on trial during that hearing.  A generation of sagging and thug worship along with a stunning amount of Black on Black murders was probably on the jurors' mind.  It still doesn't make the verdict right since all evidence shows Martin should have been able to defend himself.

CONFERENCE ON HOMELESSNESS

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/15/justice/zimmerman-juror-book

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/07/16/us/zimmerman-juror-discusses-how-verdict-was-reached.html?gl=us&client=ms-android-sprint-us&source=android-unknown&action=devloc&q=zimmerman%20jurors&

Homeless information

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Trayvon Martin Facts (courtesy CNN)

from:  http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/05/us/trayvon-martin-shooting-fast-facts

Trayvon Martin Shooting Fast Facts

By CNN Library

updated 8:20 PM EDT, Tue July 16, 2013

(CNN) -- Here's a look at what you need to know about the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in February 2012. Former neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman was acquitted of the crime in July 2013.

Facts:
Trayvon Benjamin Martin, born February 5, 1995, was a 17-year-old African-American high school student who lived in Miami Gardens, Florida with his mother Sybrina Fulton. In February 2012, Martin was visting his father Tracy Martin in Sanford, Florida after receiving a ten-day suspension from Krop Senior High School. The suspension stemmed from the discovery of drug residue in Martin's book bag.

George Michael Zimmerman, born October 5, 1983, was a part-time student at Seminole State College and a neighborhood watch captain at the Retreat at Twin Lakes gated community in Sanford at the time of the shooting. He is married to Shellie (Dean) Zimmerman and is the son of Robert and Gladys Zimmerman.

Timeline:
February 26, 2012 - George Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch captain in Sanford, Florida, calls 911 to report "a suspicious person" in the neighborhood. He is instructed not to get out of his SUV or approach the person. Zimmerman disregards the instructions. Moments later, neighbors report hearing gunfire. Zimmerman acknowledges that he shot Martin, claiming it was in self-defense. In a police report, Officer Timothy Smith writes that Zimmerman was bleeding from the nose and back of the head.

February 27, 2012 - Martin's father, Tracy Martin, files a missing persons report. Officers with the Sanford Police Department visit Tracy Martin. He is able to identify Trayvon Martin's body using a photo.

March 8, 2102 - Investigators receive a fax from the Altamonte Family Practice containing the medical records identifying the injuries sustained by Zimmerman on the night of the shooting: Open wound of scalp, without mention of complication; nasal bones, closed fracture; assault by other specified means.

March 12, 2012 - Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee says that Zimmerman has not been charged because there are no grounds to disprove his story of the events.

March 13, 2012 - Sanford Police Department's homicide detective Christopher Serino recommends Zimmerman be charged with manslaughter.
Zimmerman "failed to identify himself" as a concerned citizen or neighborhood watch member on two occasions that night. Serino reports that he thought Zimmerman's head injuries were "marginally consistent with a life-threatening episode, as described by him, during which neither a deadly weapon nor deadly force were deployed by Trayvon Martin."

March 14, 2012 - The case is turned over to the Florida State Attorney Norm Wolfinger.

March 15, 2012 - In a letter to the Orlando Sentinel, Robert Zimmerman, George Zimmerman's father, writes that George has been unfairly portrayed as a racist, and that George is Hispanic and grew up in a multiracial family.

March 16, 2012 - Authorities release seven 911 calls from the night of the shooting. In one of the 911 recordings, Zimmerman, against the advice of the 911 dispatcher, follows Martin. In one of the recordings, a voice screams "Help, help!" in the background, followed by the sound of a gunshot.

March 19, 2012 - The Justice Department and the FBI announce that they have launched an investigation into Martin's death.

March 20, 2012 - A lawyer for the Martin family, Benjamin Crump, holds a news conference, telling reporters that Trayvon was on the phone with his 16-year-old girlfriend at the time of the shooting. The girl, who wishes to remain anonymous, says she heard someone ask Martin what he was doing and heard Martin ask why the person was following him, according to Crump. The girl then got the impression that there was an altercation in which the earpiece fell out of Martin's ear and the connection went dead.

March 21, 2012 - CNN analyzes one of the tapes of Zimmerman's call to dispatch, in which he is purported to have used a racial slur against blacks. The results are inconclusive.

March 22, 2012 - A petition on Change.org calling for the arrest of Zimmerman, created by the parents of Trayvon Martin, surpasses 1.3 million people.

March 22, 2012 - Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee announces he is stepping down "temporarily" as head of the department, which has been criticized for its handling of the fatal shooting.

March 22, 2012 - Florida Gov. Rick Scott announces he is appointing Angela B. Corey of the 4th Judicial Circuit as state attorney in the investigation, replacing Norman Wolfinger, state attorney for Florida's 18th District, which includes Sanford.

March 23, 2012 - President Barack Obama speaks out publicly for the first time on the growing controversy over the shooting of Trayvon Martin, saying that the incident requires national "soul-searching."

March 24, 2012 - A handful of members from the New Black Panther Party (NBPP) offer a $10,000 reward for the "capture" of George Zimmerman.

March 26, 2012 - Exactly one month after Trayvon Martin's death, rallies take place in cities across the country, including Sanford, where the City Commission holds a town hall meeting on the incident and its aftermath. Martin's parents speak at the meeting.

March 28, 2012 - Zimmerman's father, Robert, appears on television and says that Martin threatened to kill Zimmerman and then beat him so badly Zimmerman was forced to shoot.

March 29, 2012 - Zimmerman's brother, Robert Zimmerman Jr., appears on CNN and says medical records will prove that his brother was attacked and his nose was broken by Trayvon Martin before he fatally shot the teen.

April 2, 2012 - FBI agents interview Martin's girlfriend, the 16-year-old girl who, phone records show, was on the cell phone with him shortly before the fatal confrontation.

April 3, 2012 - Zimmerman's legal adviser, Craig Sonner, says that criminal defense lawyer Hal Uhrig will represent Zimmerman and that Sonner will serve as co-counsel if the case proceeds.

April 7-8, 2012 - George Zimmerman launches a website warning supporters about groups falsely claiming to be raising funds for his defense. The site includes a link through which donations can be made to pay for Zimmerman's lawyers and living expenses.

April 9, 2012 - Prosecutor Angela Corey announces that she will not present the case to a grand jury.

April 10, 2012 - Attorneys Hal Uhrig and Craig Sonner announce that they have lost contact with Zimmerman and no longer represent him.

April 11, 2012 - Zimmerman is charged with second-degree murder. His new lawyer, Mark O'Mara, tells CNN that Zimmerman has turned himself in.

April 18, 2012 - Seminole Circuit Court Judge Jessica Recksiedler, who was assigned to Zimmerman's case, approves a motion to disqualify herself from the criminal case because her husband works as a CNN legal analyst.

April 18, 2012 - It is announced that Seminole County Circuit Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. will take over George Zimmerman's case.

April 20, 2012 - Zimmerman's bond hearing is held. Judge Lester sets Zimmerman's bond at $150,000. During the hearing, Zimmerman apologizes to the family of Trayvon Martin for the loss of their son.

April 23, 2012 - Zimmerman is released on bail at 12:05 AM. Later in the day, Zimmerman enters a written not guilty plea and waves his right to appear at his arraignment.

May 8, 2012 - Judge Kenneth Lester accepts Zimmerman's written plea of not guilty.

May 15, 2012 - A medical report by George Zimmerman's family doctor, taken a day after the February 26 shooting, shows Zimmerman was diagnosed with a fractured nose, two black eyes and two lacerations on the back of his head.

June 1, 2012 - Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. revokes Zimmerman's bond and orders him to surrender within 48 hours after the prosecution argues that Zimmerman and his wife, Shellie, misrepresented their finances when Zimmerman's bond was originally set in April.

June 3, 2012 - At 1:45 PM, Zimmerman surrenders to authorities and is taken into custody at the John E. Polk Correctional Facility in Seminole County.

June 12, 2012 - George Zimmerman's wife Shellie is arrested and charged with perjury.

June 18, 2012 - Audio of six phone calls between Zimmerman and his wife Shellie are released, along with bank statements.

June 20, 2012 - Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee is officially fired.

June 25, 2012 - Zimmerman's attorney files a motion requesting a "reasonable bond" be set for Zimmerman's release from jail.

July 5, 2012 - The judge sets Zimmerman's bond at $1 million.

July 6, 2012 - Zimmerman is released from jail after posting the required 10% of the $1 million bond ($100,000).

July 13, 2012 - Zimmerman's legal team files a motion requesting Judge Lester step down from the case. The motion claims Zimmerman cannot get a fair trial because Lester used "gratuitous, disparaging" language in the previous week's bail order.

July 18, 2012 - Zimmerman, appearing on Fox News "Hannity" show, does his first television interview since the shooting. He says he would not do anything differently.

August 9, 2012 - A photo of Trayvon Martin's body and George Zimmerman's school records are mistakenly released by prosecutors. Special Prosecutor Angela Corey's office issues a statement asking reporters to "please disregard and do not use the information contained in the initial e-mail. It was inadvertently attached."

August 13, 2012 - George Zimmerman appeals Judge Lester's refusal to recuse himself with the Fifth District Court of Appeals.

August 29, 2012 - A Florida appeals court grants Zimmerman's request for a new judge, saying Judge Kenneth Lester's remarks in a bail order put Zimmerman in reasonable fear of a fair trial.

August 30, 2012 - Judge Debra Nelson is assigned to replace Judge Kenneth Lester in the case of George Zimmerman.

December 7, 2012 - Zimmerman sues NBC Universal for allegedly editing the 911 call he placed on the night of the tragic event. He states in the lawsuit that NBC unfairly made it appear that "Zimmerman was a racist, and that he was racially profiling Trayvon Martin".

February 9, 2013 - The Justice for Trayvon Martin Foundation hosts a "Day of Remembrance Community Peace Walk and Forum" in Miami. It takes place four days after what would have been Martin's 18th birthday.

March 5, 2013 - Lawyer Mark O'Mara decides against seeking a pretrial Stand your Ground immunity hearing for George Zimmerman citing lack of preparation time.

April 5, 2013 - Martin's parents settle a wrongful-death claim against the homeowners association of the Florida subdivision where their son was killed.

April 30, 2013 - George Zimmerman waives his right to a "stand your ground" pretrial immunity hearing. Zimmerman's attorneys decide they will instead try this as a self-defense case. If Zimmerman had had a pretrial immunity hearing, a judge would have ruled whether his actions were protected under the "stand your ground" law. If the judge had ruled in favor of Zimmerman, it would have meant that no criminal or civil trial could proceed.

May 28, 2013 - Judge Debra Nelson rules on several motions brought by the defense. Nelson rules that Trayvon Martin's familiarity with guns, his marijuana use, and fights he may have been in cannot be brought up in Zimmerman's trial. She also denies a request to take the jury to the crime scene. Nelson, however, rules that jurors will remain anonymous and will be referred to by numbers only.

June 20, 2013 - An all-female jury is selected.

June 24, 2013 - The trial begins with opening statements.

July 13, 2013 - The six woman jury finds George Zimmerman not guilty. They had three choices: to find Zimmerman guilty of second-degree murder; to find him guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter; or to find him not guilty. The jurors deliberated for more than 16 hours total, including 13 on Saturday alone.